Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

I didn't want to have to write this news...

Teenager hits five deer in a year. On the plus side, it sounds like she gets all the venison she could possibly want.

Man robs a bank disguised as a female clown. Then he gets in a woman's car and waits to be arrested, apparently. I'm not sure what the punchline was supposed to be.

Women get into a high-speed chase over a feud on Facebook. The subject of the feud: A guy in prison that they were apparently both in love with. The fatality? A friend who had nothing to do with the feud. I think we may have found a fictional relationship worse for mankind than the Twilight series. And only because I have yet to hear a story of an actual death proven to be related to Twilight. I'm pretty sure the publishers are just paying the media to cover up the stories of exploded brains.

Bear breaks into unlocked car and steals it. Oh no, Bear is driving, how can that be?

Woman throws bag of pee at cops. That almost sounds sensible at this point.

People to get married one room away from a blooming corpse flower. You know, there are some things worth postponing a wedding for, no matter how much Bridezilla went into making it just perfect.

Man steals an iPhone that was testing GPS location software at the time. It was surprisingly easy to track the thief down - I guess there's an app for that, too.

Women dine-and-dash-and-leave-their-purses at a Waffle House. If the contents include enough money to cover the bill, I'd call it square. They're just very generous tippers.

Man tackles a kid who rang his doorbell and ran - the guy's been charged with harassment and the kid gets off scot-free. In what world is that the right way around? I believe the person taking the voluntary action to be annoying - i.e. ringing the doorbell for no reason - is the harasser. A legal system that seriously can't take kids to task for it needs some serious overhauls. Shall we start by hauling the kid over the side of the cliff and offering to hold on unless someone happens to distract us by ringing our doorbells?

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