Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

The long-awaited news

With a shakeup in the works here at work that's left me scrambling to get stuff accomplished before my productivity enters a yet-undefined nebulous state (as in, I have no idea just how nebulous it's going to be), I'm left with little to do but review for next week's course and try to do stuff during occasional study breaks. Like this one.

$1000 reward for stolen $20 doormat. I guess they really want to catch the thief. I know the feeling.

Man smuggles birds in his pants. This is a fetish for someone.

Repo man goes after the wrong riding lawnmower and gets in big trouble. At least, I think that's what happened. It's hard to tell from the article.

Naked man says he's Jesus and causes car crashes. Not the most impressive miracle out there, anyway.

Police department forgets to renew the registration of its website, so a disgruntled speeder buys it and replaces it with the content you might expect. It's important to keep on your toes with the Internet. It's always changing.

In the same vein as robbers who leave their wallets at the scene, this one left behind his license plate.

Man tries to steal dirty diapers so he can wear them. That's it. That's the story. I only just recently finished reading about how bad the Twilight series is, and here's a guy who makes them seem brilliant by comparison. Well, not really.

Here's a much more sensible porn thief. Diapers. What the hell, man...?

Man calls 911 because his mother took his beer. They showed up all right. Diapers?

Woman sues Google for giving her bad walking directions. Well, DUH, you take certain precautions when walking in the dark, like not walking along a highway. But I think the next few steps should have made the intent clearer:

5) Get hit by car, fly through air. 657 ft.
6) Travel by ambulance to ST. MARK'S HOSPITAL 35 miles
7) Physical rehabilitation, walk in place equivalent of 500 miles
8) Walk to nearby destination, 1.6 miles

Besides, it could be worse. At least it didn't tell her to walk across the English Channel.

Nun talks thief into returning stolen wallet. You don't mess with nuns. They've got God on their side.

Indonesia places the blame squarely on tight pants. By which I mean jeans. The religious intolerance of women's bodies and any kind of practical clothing continues apace. Well, maybe they do need to ban Puppet Pal jeans, because those sure are some sexy jeans.

Seriously, diapers? Dirty diapers? To wear? Maybe that's what Indonesia's going for.

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