Prostitution sting catches 13-year-old boy. The undercover officer tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted on being arrested. This is proof that our nation's sexual education is deficient... would a real prostitute try to talk a customer out of paying? (Actually, I have no idea. I don't believe I've ever met one, and if I have, it certainly wasn't in a professional capacity.)
New Jersey driver hits woman on bike because he's texting a drug deal. They're probably going to give him some kind of reward for having a better excuse than being a New Jersey driver. Note that they charged him with drug possession, and as an afterthought, figured they might as well charge him with causing the collision too. That's New Jersey for you.
Woman leaves $40,000 in rare coins at a church to have the Virgin Mary watch over them. She very nearly watched over the new annex they were probably going to build with the donation money, until someone convinced the owner to try a bank instead. Why bother? She can probably just grill a cheese sandwich and use that to guard them. (Bet you never thought ANYONE would make THAT joke again!)
Man steals bus, joyrides, posts the video on YouTube. You know, at this point, it seems like the police may as well just knock off the street beat and spend their time monitoring YouTube for signs of crimes.
Man claiming to be a ninja impales himself on fence. The cops found him while searching for a fleeing assault suspect. Even they have to be able to put the clues together here. Then again, I've seen some ninja that were less than graceful. Ninin ga Shinobuden, Tail of the Moon, any Ninja Gaiden game when I'm playing...