Canadian sues for $340,000 because there were flies in his bottled water. I hope the Supreme Court Judge he appealed all the way up to (after winning his suit at one level, mind) gives him a new bottle of water and charges him court costs for it... which will still be cheaper than buying his own bottle of water. Hmmm...
Stroller sold in Internet auction has loaded gun concealed in it. The baby was given five to fifteen years for possession.
Everyone knows that Eliot Spitzer was "Client number 9" by now. (If I know something, everyone knows it. I'm always the last to find out. Look it up... trufax. It's on Wikipedia.) But do you know who the GIRL was? You will now, because Girls Gone Wild refuses to pay for naked pictures of Prostitute number 9, because they already have them. I thought there was no such thing as "too much nudity", but I guess I was wrong. Here's a bit more detail on the story, because I'm pretty sure that even if there is such a thing as too much nudity, you can't talk about it enough.
Canadian prisoner of war says Americans threatened to have him raped. By "Soldier Number 9". Seriously. They got Eliot Spitzer to Guantanamo for some good old fashioned sodomy. (Okay, I made that last part up.)
Noir thriller set in and performed in a restroom. Wow. Now THAT'S art.
Men and women have different eating habits. Wooooooooow. That's interesting.
Animal control officer charged with drowning kittens. Well, it certainly controls them.
Man kills his son with a screwdriver, then attacks the mother with an axe. No wonder they never got married.
Japan names Doraemon a cartoon ambassador. Maybe now we'll get an American release of the series.