Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

Why am I not hungry yet, even for news?

Las Vegas man paints his Mustang to look like a police car, complete with fake lights. Yes, he called the police first to make sure there wasn't a law against it, and they said that as long as he doesn't ACT like a police officer, while they don't like it, it's not specifically illegal. People who want to paint their poodles pink should consider this carefully. Even the LJ user formerly known as pinkpoodlegirl changed her name wisely.

Pregnant ballet planned in Newcastle. I like the idea in theory, but I don't know how it will work in practice. We're talking about women who, by the time they know they're eligible, probably only have about seven months to learn ballet, perform, and get to a hospital. The good news is that the typical ballet fear of "accidental virginity loss" is irrelevant.

Accountant loses his $600,000 lawsuit from slipping on a grape. The judge issued the following statement: "You should have been able to avoid the fall by walking around. Left side, safe. Right side, safe. Middle... squished grape." The accountant responded "Where the hell are my pants?"

Miners in Chile dig an escape tunnel for prisoners. The women who hired them made a simple miscalculation - yes, miners are the best diggers, but they have pride in their work. Had they chosen men good at digging but willing to dig the usual dubious tunnels that can barely be crawled through, instead of reinforced mine tunnels, they might have made the distance before being caught.

Chinese woman burns her new husband to death because he didn't wash his feet before bed. When married to a crazy woman, drinking may be a release, but it's also dangerous.

Canadian ferry hits an island and sinks because two crew members distracted everyone with a personal conversation. Good thing there was no nude art involved, or it would have been a real disaster.

Woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. Bet that's the last time she eats at Taco Hell! The boyfriend claims it was due to a childhood trauma and that she got up and moved around the bathroom. I would wager not... her legs atrophied and her butt fused to the seat. That would be a pretty long period of sitting still.

Honors student in Connecticut suspended and kicked out of student council for buying Skittles. Yes, tasting the rainbow is now a punishable offense. Hooray health reform. The punishments have since been expunged, but the stories remain.

German federal court maintains that incest is a crime. But apparently, only for the man. As for what will become of his four children, I'm guessing they'll go with the "Scrapped Princess" method.

The new $5 bill has a purple streak. It'll be FAB-uloooooooooooooooooooooooooooous! So, what, do the people at the Treasury not enjoy making fun of other countries and their rainbow-colored money? You realize that in two generations, half of the slang for money won't make sense to anyone anymore? They'll wonder why we ever called it "greenbacks" or "lettuce".

Woman on trial for child endangerment for leaving her child in a car that she could see at all times from ten yards away. Seems ridiculous to me, but I'm not going to floort it just to see who agrees with me.

Hugh Laurie says he actually tried some Vicodin to help him portray House. Also, that he doesn't like his fake American accent. But is this true? Recent comments have made me hesitant to trust almost any celebrity-related news anymore. Now, when do we get to hear House doing a fake Australian accent to make fun of Chase? It's not unprecedented... remember when Tim Curry did a fake Southern accent doing a fake Irish accent for Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers? Of course not... but he did.
Tags: pants

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