I'll go with the commenters on this one. Idiot teen dies in shopping cart accident. At the time, he was riding in the cart and holding the back of an SUV while it went over speed bumps. The comments naturally get political almost immediately, but the story would definitely be worthy of a Darwin Award if only it were just a bit funnier or more ironic. If he rode his bike there while wearing a helmet, then took it off for the cart ride, that would do it.
Australians return from vacation just in time to break up the press conference covering their murder investigation. They quickly explained that the postcard they'd sent was from Hell, MICHIGAN.
A new English school in Tokyo targets cosplayers and otaku. It also says that otaku would avoid language classes where they might have to talk to glamorous women and can't get along with anyone but other otaku. Idiots! Haven't they read "Train Man"? After one lesson, they'd scour the Internet for tips and come back brimming with confidence to ask "Would you like to date with me? I will make very much money."
800-pound Mexican man can't get to a party because the supports on his flatbed truck hit an overpass. The purpose of the party? To celebrate losing 440 pounds with his new girlfriend. Yes... he weighed 800 pounds AFTER losing that much. Impressive. Rather insensitive comments, though, obviously... read at your own risk.
A San Diego man wants to hire people to sit on benches to prevent the homeless from sleeping on them. So... to make sure the benches are available for people to sit on, you'll hire people to sit on them? This is brilliant! Anyone want to hire me to make sure their food is edible?
A new bill in Minnesota seeks to ban strong smells, like perfume and body sprays, from schools. Yes! Yes yes yes! Then ban them everywhere else! There are times and places where making yourself stink is appropriate, and if anyone else can smell you to report you for a violation, that's not one of those times and places.
Family sues school for giving their son detention for wearing a shirt with a picture of a gun on it. Yes, the solution to school violence is to ban anything that looks like violence. We need to make a kids' T-shirt with gun and knife silhouettes that reads "END SCHOOL VIOLENCE" and see what the school districts have to say about THAT. Will they condone the images of weapons in school or ban the shirt and show their opposition to ending school violence? Whichever they choose, it will be fun to watch.