Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

Of all the news stories, I didn't expect it to be THESE

Man proposes to his girlfriend, and then they get mugged. Central Park just isn't the right place for that sort of thing... you know, people.

The amazing "sword-yielding" man. They use that word, but I do not think it means what they think it means.

Guy pretends to be an Iraq war vet to write bad checks. Massachusetts got off lucky... he's a sex offender in Indiana, although I think that by Indiana law, looking a member of your own gender in the eyes is considered a sex crime.

Man proposes by crossword. Shortly afterward, a coffee-stained bum stole the newspaper.

Bollywood actress plays a prank on her director. He uses those words, but I do not think they mean what he thinks they mean. She should have taught him "You killed my father. Prepare to die."

The Udink family can't have their name on vanity plates because some people find it offensive. What dinks! Go dink yourselves!

Canadian judge swears during trial. Did he use the word "dink"?

Famous cricket player sends his wife a message inviting her in the back door while his wife's out of the house. Oops.

Malaysian diplomat mistakes Iraqi sweet pickles for anthrax. No, the Iraqis aren't trying to make you sick. They're trying to increase your sugar intake. Because what is candy today becomes cavities tomorrow.

In Soviet Russia, road works fix roads but damage cars. Then driver kills road workers. Then driver has to become road worker and fix roads. Now because driver is road worker, he's responsible for damages to own car, and road work gets done because they have full crew. Isn't Communism great?

Note to censors: No, I don't think Communism's great. It may be my government of choice in Civilization II, but that's because it has some of the best benefits, while Republic and Democracy suffer too many penalties to be worth using.

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