Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... news

For more information about Talk Like a Pirate Day, click here. Too bad nobody's ever heard of YOU at all!

Man claims he crashed his SUV because people were having sex in the back seat. Even BEFORE he smelled their breath?

Police taser man with chicken. "We believe the chicken was going to ask John Kerry a question," said the police. "Possibly something like 'Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?'"

Armless man delivers fatal headbutt. Good thing he didn't use his hooks on the guy. Maybe now he's learned to stop picking his nose.

A streetcar named South Lake Union Trolley, or SLUT for short. HA! That's the stupidest name I ever heard!

Chinese man stripped and shaved for posting illegal ads on walls. He didn't even try to distract them by shouting "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!"

Japanese "Super Teacher" has a history of violence. Eikichi Onizuka must have taught him everything he knew.

"Mr. Skin" compiles a list of female nudity in TV and non-pornographic movies. It's impolite to stare at a woman's chest.

Australian burglar breaks into house to perform sex acts in the bathroom with toilet cleaner and a vacuum cleaner. At least he had the tools to clean up after himself. But bodily fluid isn't of much use without hair from the head, an article of clothing, and a bone from a dead ancestor.

Australia wants to build the world's longest golf course. The man in charge of the project is winning all the towns along the way using incomprehensible swordfight insults. I don't know what he said, but I feel strangely insulted.

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