Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

News from the spring festival

Man beats a peacock because he thinks it's a vampire. A vampire peacock... that'll be the day.

A man is sued for almost $5,000 - successfully - for stealing the affections of another man's wife. It's scary that they can do that.

A Nigerian school gets a gift of 300 laptops, but doesn't have electricity to power them. Well, with modern battery technology, they can charge up their laptops at home and use them for almost eight minutes at school.

Janitor mistakes rotten oranges for a human fetus. This is why the abortion debate is such a heated issue... most people don't even know what a fetus looks like.

Drug traffickers hide cocaine in dentures. No wonder the stuff's such a health hazard... they have to do disgusting things with it to sneak it through customs.

Man carves replica of Mount Rushmore out of cheese. As it's a life-sized replica, local cheese shops have to be very circumspect in describing their cheese offerings. "No, I'm sorry, we don't have any cheddar either."

Man almost old enough to have been around for New Year's 1900 becomes a U.S. citizen. Stay tuned in the days that follow for his death announcement.

Pregnant, single mother steals sentimental stuff from cemetary. Okay, so some of those things might have been useful. But who steals FLOWERS?

Man punches drive-through clerk for not saying "please" and "thank you". Well, thank YOU, jerkoff.

A man serving community service for graffiti spraypaints the park. He's also been charged with soliciting minors for sex over the Internet, but it's the graffiti charges that people care about.

Jail inmates backup sewer systems by flushing clothes and other items. The solution is simple - don't issue them clothes anymore. If they flush the ones they're given, they can spend the rest of their time naked. Or make them buy their own clothes, with a very high cost for replacement sets. Deter future flushings AND rcover some of the money they've already lost. It's win-win.

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