Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

News with a creepy cousin

A real-life case for the fictional forensic anthropologist "Bones". Some guy bought a house without realizing there was a skeleton in the bedroom. Not even in the closet! They don't know if it's human, but how many animals would be found reading Playboy magazine?

They tied their child up in the car while they ate. Yes, I know, we all wish we could do that, but nobody really does it!

Stressed executives get to help demolish a Spanish hotel. Of course, if there's any drinking involved, they'd better make sure they're demolishing the right hotel.

Lottery winner plans to buy chess set, and if there's enough left over, rent a new apartment. Good to know he's got his priorities straight. And I want to see that chess set.

Flavored German sausage. Where's the cucumber?

An Indian farmer has failed his high school exams 38 times. He says he won't get married until he passes, but when he does, he's going to marry a woman who's as young as he was when he started. Hey, good luck with that, old man.

Killer squirrel attacks Germans. They're coming out of the woodwork at last and showing their true colors. Death to the squirrels! ("Daddy, a strange man is here talking about squirrels and resistors!")

Konami makes skincare software for the Nintendo DS. I just put layers of thin plastic over the screens myself.

The sobbing, pantsless judge says he plans to use his winnings to encourage other dissatisfied customers to file multi-million dollar lawsuits against small businesses that can't afford it. I don't care if the JUDGE has to pray about this one... he has to lose the case! Miserably. I think court costs, emotional distress, community service, and castration serious prison time ought to just about cover it.

Paris Hilton decides to stop acting dumb. I'll believe that when I see it.

It's Flag Day. Are your flags facing the right way? When Lister thought the backwards text was Bulgarian, maybe he wasn't that far off.
Tags: crack squirrels, pants

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