Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

Best friends news

The underwater ice hockey world championship. I'm not kidding. The players have wetsuits and thermal equipment, but no oxygen tanks. It's not hard to score if you can hold your breath until the opposing goalie pops up for a breather.

A New Jersey town will pass an ordinance loimiting the amount of barking a dog can do in consecutive days. How they expect a dog to be able to comprehend that is anyone's guess, but that's New Jersey government for you. Far be it from them to pass useful laws, like driving laws.

An underaged gambler in Macau will get to kepe her winnings - in proxy. Her mother, who brought her into the casino and let her play the winning slot, will get the money. She'll also be banned from the casino for life, so it's win-win-win. They're also planning to rewrite the law so that minors are not only forbidden form entering the casino, but are also not allowed to play or to keep their winnings if they do. Further, tipping the dealer will be compulsory.

A toddler begs for a book at a thrift store that turns out to be full of money. The parents are happy that their daughter has taken to money dowsing like a hog to truffles, but I'd worry. When she's that attracted to money at such a young age, she'll be famous for saying "You're fired!" or "48K of memory should be enough for anyone" by the time she's grown up. I suppose that's not SO bad.

I can't imagine anyone would be THIS stupid, but it shouldn't be a surprise anymore. A middle school teacher looking to score some drugs messages a state trooper insteaad of her dealer. Sample messages included "Does these dogs smell drugs?" and "Would you be worried if, after swallowing a connie full of drugs, it didn't come out after... eight and a half days?"

A new security device in field testing lets officers see through clothes, but shows the whole body. Experts say that the images are borderline pornographic and far too invasive, while an altered version that looks like a line drawing is ineffective at achieving its mission. Jimmy Kimmel has another list of reasons it might be a bad idea. Terrorists, meanwhile, are scouting the device to see how accurate it is in line drawing mode, since it will let them opt out of the strip search if successful.

"Faux fur" coats are found to contain fur from dogs and raccoon dogs. I don't care whether animals died to make your clothing or not... if you're making a statement that it's fashionable to wear animal furs, you're supporting the killing of animals. End of story.

A woman sets her hair on fire trying to light a cigarette from a stove. Ah, back to the classics. Fortunately for her, she had good communication and was standing under a sprinkler. I can't believe that the fire chief uses the word "communicate" to refer to things catching on fire or being put out. Communication is something that happens between people, diseases, or pigeons preparing to dive-bomb someone.

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