Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

Someone must be sad... my news is increasing

High school basketball coach does the "What's the capital of Thailand?" joke to his players. Those unfortunate ones who know that the answer is "Bangkok" get hit in the crotch. And I thought I was doing a good job making fun of it. He also made them freeze at winter games and showed them porn.

A high school art teacher is fired for painting with his butt in off-hours. Look, compared to hitting students in the crotch, pressing your own crotch against a canvas while smeared with paint, while disturbing, isn't particularly harmful. What, exactly, is the "core value" that the teacher's supposedly violating? Some sort of issue with nudity in the privacy of one's home? Or maybe they just don't understand abstract art. In that, I'm with them. I think the people who buy stuff like that are idiots. But they do. And if "Lord of the Flies" can make a bold statement about society when it's just a book about a bunch of kids on an island killing each other, I guess butt art can mean something too.

Man stages robbery to get back into prison. It seems like he didn't DO anything other than say he intended to rob the bank and ask for the police, but that's probably enough. It tells me that prison conditions aren't bad enough. It's free lodging and food... it should give them their money's worth!

The bullet that freed a bald eagle's talon from a knothole. It's amazing.

A $1 million Canadian ($5.68 American) project to make a helium-filled banana float above Texas for a month or so. I don't know what statement he's trying to make, but I doubt he's building it with his butt.

The mayor of New York hasn't put his secure line on the Do Not Call list. "Oh my God, it's an emergency situation! The city is on fire! Aliens are kidnapping people left and right! Bombs are falling! There's a funny smell! Crime is running rampant in the streets! We can't open our pickle jars! If you hear someone on this phone saying one of these things, do you have insurance to cover the expenses?"

A Japanese girls' high school will include a chopstick test on its entrance exams. One would think it would be more of a survival trait over there.

As if we haven't seen enough bizarre crimes... Camera catches a thief stealing a urinal. I assume the camera was posted outside the restroom, and the guy was spotted leaving with a much fuller backpack just before it was discovered missing. Because nothing would be like turning in as evidence to the police an illegal video.

It's a toilet and an aquarium. Now that might almost be worth stealing.

And because so many people are talking about the iPhone, I figured I'd take a look. Apparently, I'm broken, because I don't see what the big deal is. It's a phone, a music player, and an internet browser. So? We already HAVE all of those things. Most of us own them or don't want them. Why would anyone pay $500 for another set? But, like butt art, people already have their money out for them. People also seem interested in Apple TV, which, as a coworker points out, does nothing that the XBox 360 doesn't already do for about the same price. Plus, the XBox 360 plays games.

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