A guerilla artist famous for controversial stunts places a sculpture of a Guantanamo Bay detainee in the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride. Now THAT'S art.
Vietnam's "Electric Man", famous for being able to withstand severe electric shocks, died of electrocution while repairing a generator. Those who have criticized Steve Irwin for his life's work, I think you have a valid target now. I'd guess that Hung Electric didn't bother to unplug the generator because he thought he'd be safe.
Girl can't do her homework because of a raccoon. And animal control quarantining her room, with all her homework supplies, until they catch it. Now who wishes they had an excuse like that when they were in school? Dogs eating homework... feh.
Bicyclist hit by car is hit by another car while waiting for the ambulance. I know they say you're inviting trouble when you ride a bike without reflective clothing, but that seems a little over the top, don't you think?
A thief steals almost 350 pounds of pork that were supposed to raise money for a scholarship. Bet you feel REALLY good about that now, don't you, buddy? I hope you have a heart attack from eating all that pork and die. Feel free to eat it raw, like disease-ridden live crabs on a dare.
Contest winner can't afford his new Dream House. This is no surprise to the sensible among us. It's a rare prize that someone can afford to claim. Then again, this New York woman has claimed the million-dollar state lottery prize twice. And she plans to keep working for a while, which is only smart. Retire on your lottery winnings, and you'll learn how little of it you actually get.
A python eats a pregnant sheep and gets so full that it can't move. This is when you kill the thing and make Darwin proud. Really. Pythons will never learn how to judge the appropriate size for a meal if people keep coddling them like this.
Man dies of exposure trapped under a lawnmower in Alaska. This is why everyone, EVERYONE needs friends who will check on them daily. Or sufficiently muscled legs to lift a lawnmower. This cook who got locked in a walk-in freezer knows how important it is to be found quickly.
Bridget Jones' underwear is up for auction. Does this mean Choo-Choo Bear got to it?
A woman whose fiancé cheated on her before their wedding found an interesting way to make use of the nonrefundable rental cost for the venue. She turned the planned wedding into a charity dinner. And none of this "minimum suggested donation" crap either.
Wheelchair-bound woman shoots mugger. Just deserts... although we could always feed him raw pork and live crabs while he's in jail.
Hollywood casino shows off a jackpot winner, then tells him he didn't win. They just wanted to make a big show so other patrons think they'll have a chance to win, although they don't. The casino may just decide to cut their losses and offer him a dream house that he can't afford.
Two Berkeley students and a guest are arrested for distributing pot cookies. Victims who ate the cookies described feeling sick and anxious and hallucinating, leading me to believe that had they waited until finals to make those cookies, they'd never have been caught.