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News from home

I'm going to spend one more sick day at home. (Curt is, too, but he had to go in to submit his timesheet or they'd withhold his paycheck for two weeks.) So here's some news to remind you of me.

A guerilla artist famous for controversial stunts places a sculpture of a Guantanamo Bay detainee in the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride. Now THAT'S art.

Vietnam's "Electric Man", famous for being able to withstand severe electric shocks, died of electrocution while repairing a generator. Those who have criticized Steve Irwin for his life's work, I think you have a valid target now. I'd guess that Hung Electric didn't bother to unplug the generator because he thought he'd be safe.

Girl can't do her homework because of a raccoon. And animal control quarantining her room, with all her homework supplies, until they catch it. Now who wishes they had an excuse like that when they were in school? Dogs eating homework... feh.

Bicyclist hit by car is hit by another car while waiting for the ambulance. I know they say you're inviting trouble when you ride a bike without reflective clothing, but that seems a little over the top, don't you think?

A thief steals almost 350 pounds of pork that were supposed to raise money for a scholarship. Bet you feel REALLY good about that now, don't you, buddy? I hope you have a heart attack from eating all that pork and die. Feel free to eat it raw, like disease-ridden live crabs on a dare.

Contest winner can't afford his new Dream House. This is no surprise to the sensible among us. It's a rare prize that someone can afford to claim. Then again, this New York woman has claimed the million-dollar state lottery prize twice. And she plans to keep working for a while, which is only smart. Retire on your lottery winnings, and you'll learn how little of it you actually get.

A python eats a pregnant sheep and gets so full that it can't move. This is when you kill the thing and make Darwin proud. Really. Pythons will never learn how to judge the appropriate size for a meal if people keep coddling them like this.

Man dies of exposure trapped under a lawnmower in Alaska. This is why everyone, EVERYONE needs friends who will check on them daily. Or sufficiently muscled legs to lift a lawnmower. This cook who got locked in a walk-in freezer knows how important it is to be found quickly.

Bridget Jones' underwear is up for auction. Does this mean Choo-Choo Bear got to it?

A woman whose fiancé cheated on her before their wedding found an interesting way to make use of the nonrefundable rental cost for the venue. She turned the planned wedding into a charity dinner. And none of this "minimum suggested donation" crap either.

Wheelchair-bound woman shoots mugger. Just deserts... although we could always feed him raw pork and live crabs while he's in jail.

Hollywood casino shows off a jackpot winner, then tells him he didn't win. They just wanted to make a big show so other patrons think they'll have a chance to win, although they don't. The casino may just decide to cut their losses and offer him a dream house that he can't afford.

Two Berkeley students and a guest are arrested for distributing pot cookies. Victims who ate the cookies described feeling sick and anxious and hallucinating, leading me to believe that had they waited until finals to make those cookies, they'd never have been caught.

Comments

chaeri
Sep. 12th, 2006 01:05 pm (UTC)
that raccoon story reminded me of a classmate's story fro middle school. he had hamsters, and had stupidly left his paper next to the hamster cage, and they shredded it. he ended up quickly doing it before class the next morning because 'what teacher would believe that?' even though it was true.
nidoking
Sep. 12th, 2006 01:54 pm (UTC)
And if the teacher does believe it, is it an acceptable excuse for lateness? It's the student's responsibility to keep the paper safe.
wraith_hammer
Sep. 12th, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
The guy who mugged the woman in a wheelchair was only hit in the arm. Preying on the disabled like that, "just deserts" probably would've been more along the lines of getting shot in the spine, leaving him paraplegic.
nidoking
Sep. 12th, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
Hey, in a crazy, mixed-up, bad-things-happen-to-good-people world like this one, I take what I can get.

Signature

Yes, I'm THAT Nidoking. Sometimes I write fanfiction... often I waste all my time playing video games and watching anime. But it's not a waste if I enjoy it, right? I can quote from a movie, video game, anime series, or British comedy apropos of just about any situation, and one of my main goals in life is to entertain people. (The other big one is amassing as much anime and manga as I can... see below for a progress report.) That's me in a nutshell. ("Help! I'm trapped in a nutshell! What a bloody great nutshell this is!")

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