A town's entire fireworks display is stolen. With one town not reporting in, the country fails to be one year older.
It's hurricane betting season. I think it's wrong for a completely different reason than everyone else does. I just plain don't respect gambling. Hurricanes are a fact of life and a force of nature... why would betting on them be any different from any other bet? Honestly?
An attempt to appeal to Hispanic customers by putting jalapeños in ice cream has yielded Cold Sweat ice cream, the ice cream so hot you have to sign a waiver to eat it. But really... what kind of moron does it take to think that Hispanics want jalapeños in their ice cream? They FRY it.
A driver caught speeding moves a speed limit sign to try to argue against the ticket. It's hard to find anything to say that'll make his stupidity any clearer. Oh, right... he took a photograph of it.
Thieves ruin the honor system for old golf ball purchases for everyone once again. He should have written "good luck" on one of the bills.
A drunk driver steals the police car and drives it into a river. Why are the police not doing anything about this? Or perhaps just not doing enough. Procedures, people! Procedures!
A kitten survives a trip through a wood chipper. That should help him get adopted.
Oops, a monkey, escapes from a zoo. No, I didn't punctuate that incorrectly. Punckshulation? is& fun!$%