Teens huffing aerosol set their car on fire while they're inside. I bet they tried to blame it on the catfish, those lousy stoners.
And then this guy set his own house on fire trying to smoke out a raccoon. And he proudly claims that he's learned nothing and would do the same thing again. Paging Mr. Darwin!
A Civil War fort that never saw any action is up for auction on eBay. I bet Elvis never lived there.
Anyone remember that old movie "The Little Kidnappers", which I'm pretty sure was made by Disney? Didn't you think it was so cute that the little kids had kidnapped a baby just so they could take care of it? Look at the list of charges on this 10-year-old girl who took the family SUV for a spin with her little brother. Kidnapping, false imprisonment, vehicle theft, careless driving, driving without a license, and not using a child restraint. Man, that's quite a rap sheet for a little girl.
The first wild sighting of a polar bear/grizzly hybrid. And it's been shot.
A fat bitch is undergoing weight-loss therapy. Now, the story is about a dog, but the picture is of the smiling columnist... it's just perfect.
Prosecutors think this woman's baby died from drinking cocaine in her breast milk. I don't care whether that's the official cause of death or not... that's just damned irresponsible.
A real criminal genius steals a gumball machine from the police station. Yes, brainbox. Now you're a criminal too, over a gumball machine. Real intelligent there.
Beware the rampaging deer. We already know about their proclivity toward attacking moving cars, but now they're attacking pedestrians. No mode of transportation is safe! Heck, they've even got flying sleighs for attacking planes!