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Less news than after I posted it

Updates: I have no phone service in my apartment; the ass-bastard says his previous appointment took too long, but he's willing to drop off the cabinet doors and the key and let me do the work myself, which is fine with me at this point just to get that damn key in my hands - then his phone dropped the call and I can't get in touch with him (I'll try again in a few minutes); and I don't really think I'm going to get much more done today than a function which reads, almost in its entirety: /* Note to self: Make this do stuff. */

Bill Gates doesn't want to be the world's richest man. Um, dude... I will TOTALLY solve that problem for you. All it takes is one final signature, preferably on a check with my name in the "Pay to the order of" blank and a lot of money in the amount section.

A giant premature baby. Well, maybe not GIANT giant, but it seems to be pretty big. That would make it recognizable in the event that the baby's grandmother delivers the baby to the wrong address. Old people can be dangerous.

A woman in Mishawaka eats a sandwich with a razor blade in it, proving once again that Indiana has some of the weirdest city names ever.

A guy celebrates his release from jail by being arrested again. Good old Ogden Dunes, Indiana. MishaWAKA. MiSHAwaka.

A picky family gets kicked out of a Chinese buffet for wasting food. Right on! I can't believe people think they can fill up plates, not eat the food, go back for more, and get away with it.

A wanted woman hides in the dryer. She might have remained hidden had she not tried to be clever and steer them further astray by making dryer noises. "Whooooooooooooooooom... I'm laundry in a dryer..."

Here's a German company that specializes in giant shoes. They make shoes for the world's 10 tallest people for free. Yao!

This guy makes a big show of cutting in line while people enjoy the biggest gas promotion ever, then gets caught with pot in his car. "No need to pay attention to me, everyone! I'm completely inconspicuous! Hey, doesn't anybody out there notice how inconspicuous I am?"

Two votes could have swung this election, and this candidate's two sons didn't vote. I'm actually almost glad... anyone who doesn't vote shouldn't, says I. But we got into that during the build-up to the last election, and while I lost "friends" over it, I stand by my principles of not having principles.

If only someone paid mothers for their work, they'd be rich. You know what we say to that study? If any mother demands to be paid for her child-rearing work, we say "Okay. We'll just take the kid off your hands and you won't have to do the work anymore." Harsh words, I know, but the world doesn't work like that. The only people who want anyone to have kids are parents, I'm pretty sure. The world and our society discourage having children, and I"m not entirely against that idea. Let's all die out! Actually, I don't know what I think anymore. Nor does anyone else. Too many mixed messages about having kids. I'm going to go do some work now.

Hey, it's almost lunchtime.

Comments

( (void *) comments[30] — Finger the nothingness that underlies everything )
hicat
May. 5th, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC)
Dork. It's Mee-sha-wa-kah. MIshaWAka. *ruffles* ANd it's not that weird of a name. Go to Minnesota, where the Native American names are right next to all of the Prairies you'll EVER need.
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)
Alert, Indiana. Gary, Indiana. Gnaw Bone, Indiana (I think there may be two of those, unless that's Needmore, Indiana). Names don't have to be foreign or Native American to be weird.

We need a city called Bill. Bill, Indiana. Anyone want to found it?
(void) - hicat - May. 5th, 2006 04:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - nidoking - May. 5th, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - cutest_sandgirl - May. 5th, 2006 05:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
pirogoeth
May. 5th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
Hey no dissing of my home state, kthx.
(void) - nidoking - May. 5th, 2006 05:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - hicat - May. 5th, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
deliciouspear
May. 5th, 2006 04:22 pm (UTC)
"Bill Gates doesn't want to be the world's richest man. Um, dude... I will TOTALLY solve that problem for you. All it takes is one final signature, preferably on a check with my name in the "Pay to the order of" blank and a lot of money in the amount section."


I believe I actually yelled "BOO FUCKING HOO ASSMONKEY!!!" at the radio this morning.
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 05:16 pm (UTC)
Acquiring money is hard. I can't imagine that getting rid of it could be THAT hard. Although it's obviously easier if you give it to charity so you have a paper trail for when the Feds break down your door.
(void) - deliciouspear - May. 5th, 2006 05:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
pirogoeth
May. 5th, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC)
A picky family gets kicked out of a Chinese buffet for wasting food. Right on! I can't believe people think they can fill up plates, not eat the food, go back for more, and get away with it.

I HATE when people are like "ZOMG IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT, THOUGH!!!!!" In this case, they WEREN'T eating it. From the sounds of the article, they'd get food, discard it after a bite or so and go get the same food.

And her excuse of "You know kids they take one bite and they want something else" doesn't work, either.
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 05:12 pm (UTC)
Indeed. This is what "parenting" and "discipline" are for. You eat what's on your plate and that's final. That was the way it was when I was a kid.
(void) - pirogoeth - May. 5th, 2006 05:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - nidoking - May. 5th, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
chaeri
May. 5th, 2006 04:41 pm (UTC)
about kids...i want em. someday. and i figure i get paid in such things as love and stuff. yes, for the record i want to stay home with them. no, i don't think anyone who doesn't is evil. my mother worked, and it was fine. but, no i don't think i should be paid for it *rolls eyes*.

if i wanted filthy lucre i'd stay wheer i am and get my Property & Casualty license. more important things than money, for me.
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 05:14 pm (UTC)
That's exactly the point I was trying to make. Women seem to say "You men can't possibly imagine the agony of childbirth" and "You men can't possibly understand the compulsion to have children" in the same breath, and then they (some of them, anyway) complain about having to spend time and money on their children but yell and scream if anyone tries to take the children away, including the father. Sheesh!
(void) - chaeri - May. 5th, 2006 11:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
cutest_sandgirl
May. 5th, 2006 05:43 pm (UTC)
Your summaries made me smile. :)
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 06:05 pm (UTC)
Ooh, good! That means it's working!
wraith_hammer
May. 5th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC)
About the guy who cut in line at the gas station... It's funny how he got caught with what looked like marijuana, especially since he cut in line not to buy gas, but snack food.
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 06:30 pm (UTC)
"No! It can't be flour! It must be cocaine!"
"Aren't you happy? The charges are being dropped!"
"But if that's flour... then it means I enjoyed spending time with my daughter while SOBER!"

Cutting in line is wrong, and anyone who does it deserves to be brought up on drug charges.
(void) - wraith_hammer - May. 5th, 2006 06:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - nidoking - May. 5th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - wraith_hammer - May. 5th, 2006 08:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - nidoking - May. 5th, 2006 08:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
hearmemeep
May. 5th, 2006 06:52 pm (UTC)
Two votes could have swung this election, and this candidate's two sons didn't vote. I'm actually almost glad... anyone who doesn't vote shouldn't, says I. But we got into that during the build-up to the last election, and while I lost "friends" over it, I stand by my principles of not having principles.

I actually got curious and went and read some of the comments you received around the last presidential election. Yikes - people got bent out of shape over that one :/

I voted. I actually voted for Bush (dang, that's gotta be a bold statement today). Now? I regret voting for him. Does that mean I would vote for Kerry if I had to do it all over again? No. What would I have done? *cries* I don't know! Maybe not voted at all or voted for a 3rd party candidate. But it sucked either way! I didn't like Bush, I didn't like Kerry, and at the time Kerry was scaring the heck out of me with various things he said.

Is the next election here yet? I keep having hope that this time I'll actually get to vote for someone I slightly like :/

Oh yeah, and the anonymous prick who kept commenting on your LJ was highly annoying. At least everyone else HAD A POINT. His only point was pointing fingers behind an anonymous mask and calling you a moron. Um..... yeah, that's so much more mature than not voting, I'm certain :P
nidoking
May. 5th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
I abstain from voting. That's my decision, for which I take full responsibility and accept the consequences. I don't believe I've ever said "the country would be better off if a different candidate had won the election." I think the entire system is fundamentally screwed up, and there's no vote in the country that will fix it.

I fully believe that my vote would change nothing other than how much time I can spend at work on election day. And as I've said before, find me a bloc of voters large enough to swing an election who will all vote the same way I do, and I will do the country a favor by not voting and keeping them all out of the system.
(void) - hearmemeep - May. 5th, 2006 08:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(void) - nidoking - May. 5th, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
( (void *) comments[30] — Finger the nothingness that underlies everything )

Signature

Yes, I'm THAT Nidoking. Sometimes I write fanfiction... often I waste all my time playing video games and watching anime. But it's not a waste if I enjoy it, right? I can quote from a movie, video game, anime series, or British comedy apropos of just about any situation, and one of my main goals in life is to entertain people. (The other big one is amassing as much anime and manga as I can... see below for a progress report.) That's me in a nutshell. ("Help! I'm trapped in a nutshell! What a bloody great nutshell this is!")

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