Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,

Today's News

Today's Fortune Cookie: We've all heard by now that 98% of all statistics are made up on the spot... but remember that 103% of all statistics are inflated.

Today's Sports: A 41-round spelling bee.

Today's Business: A furniture salesman makes fake porn out of his business rival.

Today's Internet: A policeman is charged with impersonating the woman who broke up with him by hacking into her profile.

Today's "Dewey Defeats Truman" moment: Amazon congratulates UCLA on beating Florida in the NCAA championship before Florida wins. Actually, it was just the subject line that had the winner named... the body of the message congratulated "(placeholder for winning team)", who were expected to make a strong showing this year but lost to the Denver team in the preliminaries.

Today's Justice: A judge was censured for comparing an assault victim's testimony to that of Jon Lovitz's pathological liar character on Saturday Night Live. There's a time to call someone a liar during a court case... it's called the verdict.

Today's Consumer Watchdog: Criminals are stealing oven doors and packaging them as flat-screen TVs for resale.

Today's Oddity: A streetlight that never goes out. The city council claims that nobody's brought the matter to their attention, but the guys who live nearby say they've called over and over. They were probably mistakenly dialing a sex line.

Today's Entertainment: Get your face featured on a McDonald's bag or cup. Forever have the phrase "I'm lovin' it" associated with you. Die of embarrassment at age 38. It's all good!

Today's Who Would Have Thought: Even cell phone users are annoyed with public cell phone use. There are simple ways to solve this dilemma....

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