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Man sues Home Depot for not rescuing him from a glue-covered toilet seat 15 minutes sooner. I wonder if the doctor got to use this classic line.

Bullshit isn't quite the excretion stolen from this guy's farm. The stuff is surprisingly valuable... but that could be because nobody wants to go through the act of actually collecting it.

Some guy went to a Halloween costume party as "Belligerent Drunk Man", then proceeded to get drunk and belligerent.

Has anyone got a lot of money and an interest in romance in Denver? This woman is auctioning off her house and her hand in marriage in one tight package. I assume that she then gets a divorce, keeps the house and money, and does it all over again. But maybe she's really honest about the whole thing. I'd like to think so.

Random VeggieTales idea: A rendition of Popeye. "If you eat this spinach, you'll grow strong." "But that's cannibalism!"

Some Texas motorists take advantage of the no-chase policy to rack up tens of thousands of dollars in toll violations. And I don't gather that it's even a real policy. More like laissez faire, only they're letting the fines accumulate.

This article makes it sound like an idiot politician in Missouri wants to impose a fine on baseball umpires for making bad calls, but he really just wants sports umpires to be subject to the state's athlete and entertainer tax for out-of-state residents who earn money in Missouri. The idea just came to him out of frustration over a baseball game.

Woman pleads no contest to ornament theft and contributing to the delinquency of a minor by having a girl steal some of the ornaments. Also, someone who isn't mentioned anywhere else in the article has eight unnamed charges.

Israeli rabbis release a list of names not to give your children, including "Ariel" and "Omri". I wonder whether they also ban The Little Mermaid videos and The Indian in the Cupboard books.

Phone repairman shows up at a house in time to prevent a fire. Now, if my apartment had been about to burn down when the service guy showed up, I'd have no complaints about paying their exorbitant fee for doing nothing with the actual phone line.

Comments

sarahtheboring
Nov. 3rd, 2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
I for one am simply struck dumb by the amazingnessness.

This is sophomoric, but I have to share.
nidoking
Nov. 3rd, 2005 04:56 pm (UTC)
Indeed. The civil courts have an absolutely stunning turnaround... this is well over five years between case being filed and being heard, isn't it?

That, and if there's anything that shouldn't be learned the hard way, it's that you should never date an ex.
sarahtheboring
Nov. 3rd, 2005 06:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that's quite a span. I don't know what's up with that.

That, and the "nap" is um, a little suspect. Either that's some mighty strong sleeping, or alcohol was involved.
nidoking
Nov. 3rd, 2005 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm sure there was some drug involved. After all, she'd been planning her revenge for months. She couldn't very well wait for an opportunity like him falling deep asleep enough that she can't wake him.

Or maybe she knew he was that way in bed from prior experience. ^_^

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Yes, I'm THAT Nidoking. Sometimes I write fanfiction... often I waste all my time playing video games and watching anime. But it's not a waste if I enjoy it, right? I can quote from a movie, video game, anime series, or British comedy apropos of just about any situation, and one of my main goals in life is to entertain people. (The other big one is amassing as much anime and manga as I can... see below for a progress report.) That's me in a nutshell. ("Help! I'm trapped in a nutshell! What a bloody great nutshell this is!")

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