Man steals 1777 "Pennsylvania Evening Post" collection to read an article. Don't they have those on microfiche?
Seattle considers a measure to make strip clubs bright, devoid of physical contact, and completely pointless. This because they can no longer prevent new ones from being opened. Next, Spongebob Squarepants will no longer be able to display ripped pants.
A French couple have to give up their 340 dogs. It's as they say: take more than you can handle, and you shan't be allowed to have any at all.
A Swedish couple win a court battle to name their daughter after a town that also happens to be the name of a brand of whiskey.
A prison fugitive posted his picture on a personals site and set up his own sting as a date. Aww, how sweet... you bought me an engagement ring! And here's a pair of wrist rings for you, with a handy chain between them.
A Christmas-themed party features a rooftop decoration of reindeer making love. I gather that the neighborhood kids who saw it either didn't know what they were doing, or weren't learning anything new.
Anyone remember that South African farm worker who got thrown to the lions by his boss about two years ago? The boss got a life sentence.
A murder suspect is fingered by the camcorder his victim was holding. He said he was going for help, then went to play video games and attended a birthday party.
The mayor of Topeka finds the CSI: Topeka ("Looks like he was bored to death.") Hallmark card offensive. Suggestions to Photoshop in "Looks like he died of excitement over the wild, crazy event scene in Topeka" were not taken well.
Police searching for a suspect are led to investigate a pile of clothes because the teddy bear on top is unusually warm. Not, say, because it was a suspiciously large pile of clothes that might have given the indication that someone was hiding in them.
A man sets a new record for the slowest crossing of the Atlantic Ocean. It's quite an accomplishment, considering that he was trying to be the fastest.
That San Francisco street ski jump seems to have gone off without a hitch.
And we end with today's technology corner: Nissan's Pivo has a body that spins around so you never have to shift into reverse to get out of a parking space. The controls are all electronic, including accessories that would normally be converted to voice-activation but are controlled by moving fingers. Shame... that would be hard to manage for someone like me. They say the technology could be used in a gasoline-powered car, but it won't look as sleek because of the space required for the engine. Also, it's not very aesthetically pleasing, so the big spenders will never go for it. Oh well. The practical among us should have no problem driving an egg on wheels. After all, people already drive giant hot dogs.