The world's ugliest dog, with picture. That sure looks like the animatronics in Gremlins, or maybe a sewer rat.
ICUP Incorporated pulls pot-flavored candy from the market. Yes, they're based in New Jersey. How could you tell? "Could you spell the name of your company, please? *snicker*"
The nude male statue that was removed from a British Columbia traffic circle (the infamous Baggage Handler) has been replaced by 40 stolen lawn gnomes.
Is that your cell phone ringing? No, it's one of those pesky Arizona mockingbirds that have learned to imitate cell phone rings. They do car alarms, too.
Canadian counterfeiters are caught in Halifax when someone spills beer on the notes and makes the ink run. Good job that Canadian beer is so watered-down, eh? ^_^ Good thing they weren't also robbing banks in flashy dresses.
A mother keeps right on driving when her toddler falls out of the car. She blames her work, her single status... oh, and maybe there's a TINY chance that cocaine addiction she's trying to kick might have had something remote to do with it. Fortunately, the baby wasn't attacked by a snake while the parents were asleep.
That couple who hired a stripper for their son's 16th birthday party way back when pleaded guilty. I guess the photographic evidence was just too damning to fight.
A spectator muffs two home run balls in as many innings. I could tie that story to the previous one with a clever pun, but I won't. I will, however, relate that one to the tale of the man charged with indecent exposure for baring his breasts in public. The public defender says it's technically not illegal for a woman to bare her chest, so why a man? So, where are the rallies where civil-minded women show their support for this guy?
"He must have cut himself with those scissors to frame me. Men do that kind of thing, right?" *wince* Uh, no.
Gilbert, Minnesota (Eugene, Oregon's big brother) cancels the "Whorehouse Days" festival. Can't imagine why. They weren't selling pot-flavored candy, stripping for underage boys, or counterfeiting Canadian money in dresses.
Remember those Looney Tunes cartoons where someone throws a stick of dynamite for a dog to fetch, and it blows him up? You can see the next part coming... Jack Russel terrier head a splode.
Repo company take melons along with the truck that was carrying them, then wants to return them (at the owner's cost) when they rot. The judge awarded the owner three times their original value. "Here's your late payments, and more besides!" Ah, justice layeth the smacketh down on those who lack common sense.