Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,
Nidoking
nidoking

You call this news? Well, yeah, I guess it is.

Before we begin, I have a minor retraction to print. I mentioned some time ago that the humming episode of Cromartie High School was the only part of the DVD that I hadn't seen in the manga, and it was pretty obvious that it couldn't be an actual manga chapter. Well, I read that chapter this morning. And it was great. The anime just can't win. But strangely, there are people out there who love it. As Salty Taro thinks of Pootan, so do I think of the Cromartie anime. It's absolutely stupid, but if so many other people love it, then I must be missing something. I just believe that what I'm missing is in the manga... and Salty Taro read the Pootan manga and still didn't get it. So I don't feel as bad.

Someone gets hit in the head with a shot put at practice. What's really funny about this story, I think, is how little detail is in a story that they still decided to publish. It's just so "something happened somewhere at some time... more on this story as it develops."

Nicholas Cage's E-mail address was hijacked. For the interested, his address appears to be NCSaturn7@aol.com. Well, no wonder it got hijacked. Good thing it hasn't been publicized.

A guy gets drunk and takes two of his friends for a joyride in a stolen plane. There's a lot about this story that's interesting... he managed to land the plane on a small, unlit runway while drunk even though he could barely find the airport, the airports are in dispute about security practices, and the drunk driving charge only covers the fact that he taxied the plane on the ground, because New York doesn't have a law about flying while intoxicated. So I guess a helicopter is fair game. Another guy stole a fire truck from Canada and took in on a U.S. joyride. Had he not driven into a ditch, he might never have been caught. Although I don't suppose Canadian fire trucks are very common in Michigan.

Enterprising entrepreneur finds niche in mannequin market. They're useful for riding in HOV lanes, deterring speeders, wearing magic hats that bring them to life, and in rare cases, exhibiting clothes.

A nest of baby birds is almost ground up for compost. Well, what do you know? All that crying IS occasionally good for something!

The two-faced cat died.

Is anyone really concerned about computers taking away our children's physical activities and leading them to sedentary lifestyles? Well, thank goodness for good old P.E. class, where the children are forced to exercise and computers don't put in an appearance. Oh, wait, P.E. is going digital as well. Yes, online physical education. Basically an online journal where the kids keep track of their exercise as well as a heart monitor and probably other online education. It's so that they can fit all the required courses and electives into their busy schedules and do their exercise in their own time. You know... "No child gets left behind, so we keep lowering the bar."

A Calgary man is convicted of kidnapping and assault, including carving "rat" into a guy's forehead (for ratting on him, naturally) and injecting him with HIV-positive blood.

"Hi, my name is Thomas Mason. I'm here to rob the bank." And when the police picked him up with his giant bag of lottery tickets, he all but turned himself in right there. The guy wanted to be arrested, no doubt. Maybe he's some kind of undercover investigative journalist. But even so, you'd think he'd be a little less obvious and newsworthy about it. As Monk would say, there's something fishy about this arrest. Nobody's THAT dumb. Somewhere, something else is happening that he wants to distract us from. Or I've just watched way too much Monk recently. One of the two. Then there's the kid who started filling out an application for a pizza place before robbing it, but filled in the name and address first. It's probably not his real name... just someone he wanted to get in trouble. Of course, the getaway car he used corresponded to the name and address he gave. Maybe he really was just that dumb. The funny thing is that I usually love dumb criminal stories, but these days, it seems like criminals are taking advantage of that and making themselves look dumb so the wrong person will be caught.

Snapple's attempt to make a world record-setting popsicle melts. I blame their choice of kiwi-strawberry.
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