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Nooga nooga nooch! I mean news!

Has anyone out there heard of Bovine Unite? It's clearly some sort of viral ad campaign, but for what? I suspect Chick-Fil-A myself, but are they really a big enough chain to do something that spectacular? I thought Chick-Fil-A existed only in mall food courts. Maybe they're planning to move into actual locations and open franchises outside of malls, or merge with another chicken-producing chain... KFC, perhaps? I imagine that any other food company would face legal issues of some kind if they used cows to advertise chicken, or at least risk their advertisements reminding people of Chick-Fil-A.

A Canadian woman left her apartment in the care of a couple who messed the place up and cooked and ate her cat. The police say they've never seen anything like it before. I say I just reported on one yesterday. Also, "and or" is not a proper conjunction.

Guinness has eliminated many of their records, or at least stopped accepting new entries for them, because they're too dangerous to encourage. For example, they will no longer allow entries for the youngest person to fly a plane after at least one very young girl died while attempting to break the record. But they did allow the record for the most squibs set off on a human body at once. I guess it's probably not as dangerous as it sounds.

A Bush supporter [/me waits while half of the Flist scrolls past the remainder of the paragraph] is suing the Republican National Convention for stealing his "W 43" bumper sticker design. He pitched their supplier, Spalding, the idea, got turned down, and then Spalding came out with a "W 04" design that he says is very similar. This is one reason I never pitch ideas for money.

A man's nose was broken by a frozen sausage that flew through his car window. I don't think I need to add anything to that.

Vancouver police warn that it's not a good idea to lie in the road to attract attention. I'm amazed that people need to be told this.

U.S. Airways, already in a financial hole, sells tickets for pocket change plus fees for most of a day due to a computer glitch. Just imagine, $64 gets you a round trip from Watertown, NY, to (wait for it) EUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENE, Oregon! I still love that name.

A Japanese off-duty cop gets drunk and relaxes in a neighbor's hot tub. I don't have anything to add to that. Colin?

Someone swaps cocaine in a police evidence room with an equal quantity of sugar. All the poor children... where will they get sugar cookies now?

This is a problem I've run into myself at one point (don 't ask). A "clever" man decides to enter a cash drawing using his dog's name to avoid the inevitable telemarketers. The problem is that the dog wins the drawing, and the payer refuses to transfer the winnings to the owner. This is what happens when you try to undermine the capitalism underlying cash giveaways. Now, who wants to know how to eliminate Gator from their computers without disabling the other programs that require it?

We've all seen the Star Wars junkies act out their favorite scenes in the waiting lines for the prequels, but what about Mad Max junkies surrounding a tanker truck in homage to that movie? They seem confused that anyone could possibly not know about the movies or suspect that their acting was a real threat. I'm confused how they could be such idiots. Wait... no, I'm not.

After watching an interesting surfing and sandcastle-based episode of Scooby Doo on Saturday (don't ask), I read about a surfer who fights off a shark and continues surfing - with a replacement board, of course.

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Yes, I'm THAT Nidoking. Sometimes I write fanfiction... often I waste all my time playing video games and watching anime. But it's not a waste if I enjoy it, right? I can quote from a movie, video game, anime series, or British comedy apropos of just about any situation, and one of my main goals in life is to entertain people. (The other big one is amassing as much anime and manga as I can... see below for a progress report.) That's me in a nutshell. ("Help! I'm trapped in a nutshell! What a bloody great nutshell this is!")

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