January 17th, 2010

Moa: The King of Destruction

Please kill me; I'm trying my best to deserve it a.k.a. Twilight

As the subject line should make perfectly obvious, Curt went to great lengths to legally secure a copy of Twilight the movie at no cost so we could watch it without giving any money (directly) to the people responsible for it, and be able to be justified in saying that it's crap, because now we've seen it - we know it's crap, rather than just taking the word of everyone we know who's seen the movie and said it was crap. And now, of course, I want to spread the joy. I'm rather torn, though... traditionally, I'd do a story reduction, but this story reduces to almost nothing.

BELLA: I hate travel, so I'm going to move from Arizona to Washington.
JACOB: Here, have a truck.
FORKS HIGH SCHOOL: Man, you're pale. Go to the prom with me?
BELLA: Who's that guy? He's paler than me!
EDWARD: Excuse me, I have to throw up.
BELLA: What's the deal, jerk?
EDWARD: Oh, sorry. Let me stop this careening truck with my bare hands to save you.
JACOB: I'd tell you about Edward, but it's a tribal secret. So don't go looking it up in a book or anything.
BELLA: You're a... hang on, I think this really needs a long, convoluted buildup before I mention that there are vampires in this vampire romance novel.
EDWARD: I so want to bite you, if only to shut you up.
BELLA: Ooh, shiny.
LAURENT: I hope we're not disturbing you... let's leave peacefully so there's no conflict in the movie.
JAMES: Wait, they have a human! We've got to kill her!
LAURENT: So, yeah, you guys might want to run and hide or something.
EDWARD: This is the perfect time for me to split up with Bella!
BELLA: I should go back to Phoenix! They'll never think to look for me there!
JAMES: So I was watching this movie called The Terminator, and it gave me a brilliant idea...
EDWARD: Whoops... guess I shouldn't have left her alone after all.
BELLA: Finally, I get to be a vampire like I've always wanted.
EDWARD: I'll suck your blood... to STOP you from becoming a vampire. Because that's how it works.
BELLA: Does this cast make my dress make me look fat?
EDWARD: So you do realize that, when you're an old woman, I'm still going to be a teenager?
BELLA: Well, I've got three movies left to convince you to bite me. Give it time.

So I was going to do a review in the style of Red Letter Media reviews, but that would take way too long, and I'm lazy, and I didn't pay nearly enough attention to detail to pick up on the little annoying things. So I just deleted what I had, and forget about it. I'm going to watch some football and do other stuff with my time.
Moa: The King of Destruction

Good food

I didn't get most of what I was planning done today, but I'm not concerned. We did the food shopping on the way home from Naughty Dogs, over on the west side. They had some good food, and great service too. The ad in the paper said they'd open at 10:30, so we went over there at about that time, only to discover that they didn't open until 11. But when they saw us outside, they knocked on the window and waved us in. It turned out that they were aware of the misprint and were opening early if customers showed up, as a compromise. (So anyone reading this... wait until 11. Be nice to the people who make the good food.) They have even more options than King David Dogs, although I don't think they had egg. Still, the Dog Pound (a half-pound hot dog with half a pound of toppings) looks great, and I got the monthly special bacon cheddar coney dog and some of their flavored corn chips. I should get nacho cheese, or maybe even get them nacho-style with jalapeños and chopped hot dog pieces. But in addition to steamed and grilled hot dogs, they also do them deep-fried. That's the kind we had today.

Then, of course, when the Jets/Chargers game looked like it was going to be really boring, we headed out to have my birthday dinner. Curt tried to remember a place he'd told me about previously that he said had good food but lousy service, but he couldn't remember the name, so we went to Olive Garden. We opted for an appetizer, the fonduta without tomatoes, but they brought it to us with tomatoes, then tried to pick the tomatoes out and serve it to us again. Our server apologized and had the appetizer taken off the bill, since we didn't get a good one until after we'd eaten half our entrées. But we've got plenty of leftovers, and the server was really good about the whole thing. She even took the time to describe a lot of options for ordering menu items without tomato, although Curt ended up getting Chicken Scampi and wants to make sure he remembers it for next time. I wanted to get the new pork dish, but last time I was there, I ordered the Tour of Italy and couldn't get it, so I wanted it this time. Naturally, while that was going on, the game got interesting.

I suppose I should play some New Super Mario Bros. Wii at some point.