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November 30th, 2008

Everything I did today was a complete failure. It'll just piss everyone off if I recap in excruciating detail, so I will. I didn't manage to wake up sick, which in retrospect would have been a welcome relief. I have no idea what I did this morning, but I'm pretty sure it was the usual webcomic reading. Curt went to Best Buy to return some stuff, so I didn't want to do anything too time-consuming. Meanwhile, my utter fail followed him to the store, and while I was avoiding doing anything that could possibly be failed at, he had some issues with the returns that I blame myself for because the rest of the day speaks for itself. Then we went to lunch and food shopping. I suppose those almost went okay (White Castle's sweet potato fries aren't too bad with the cinnamon dip), but I failed at both when I got home. You may not believe me, but they were both utter failures. Then I decided to try Left 4 Dead at long last. Needless to say, it was an exercise in mediocrity. I suppose it can't be said that I failed, as such... I made it somewhere near the end of the third mission before being completely torn apart. However, I couldn't tell you anything about the experience. I had no idea what was going on at any time, let the computer players do all the work, and basically was about as useful as the bunny in Psychonauts - there to make the game harder for everyone else and serve no purpose other than to make sure everyone else moves. I'd say "moves toward the exit", but I don't think that was in the cards this time around, mainly because I didn't know what an exit was or how to find one. So I decided I needed to change things up a bit and learn something about the game before making another serious attempt to complete it. Naturally, when I tried, my performance became significantly worse. Curt suspects that it's because I was on Expert difficulty, but the fact is that I just utterly suck at first-person shooter games and still can't tell the difference between a Hunter and a fire hydrant. Also, I decided to get the hang of shooting by using the single pistol exclusively, skipped the healing items because they didn't help me at all, left the others behind whenever I could because that gave them a better chance, emptied a full clip into every zombie I saw because I still don't know how to tell when they're dead, including when they're lying on the ground and not twitching, stuck with melee combat whenever possible because I still believe it has to be doing SOME damage, spent several rounds incapacitating my teammates at the start because it got really inconvenient to do it later, had lousy aim, had no idea that crouching would improve my aim (not that the enemies are ever as distant as claimed... there's always one right next to me), generally suck at first-person shooter games, and was in fact playing on Expert difficulty. The way I see it, if I'm the only one who can't solo a Tank with melee weapons on Expert difficulty, I can't afford to give up and take the sissy way out. Just because I'll never be as good as anyone else is no reason to settle for being the best I can possibly be. Jumping straight in on the hardest difficulty was good enough for Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution, and I no longer play the former and haven't even played the latter yet. Now THAT'S failure. I'm currently failing at dinner too... I decided to skip it until I was good at Left 4 Dead, because I figured any attempt at eating would fail until I'd worked all the fail out, but I failed at skipping dinner and I'm failing at eating too. I'm pretty sure I've written myself into a corner, but nobody's going to care about that either. I just need to decide how many weeks of work to eradicate and how many years to give up writing entirely before inevitably getting over all of it and giving some of the things on the above list another try.

I also never got around to watching Rumbling Hearts in all of that. That should probably be chalked up as a failure, but I consider it fortunate - I'd probably have destroyed the DVD if I'd tried.


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Yes, I'm THAT Nidoking. Sometimes I write fanfiction... often I waste all my time playing video games and watching anime. But it's not a waste if I enjoy it, right? I can quote from a movie, video game, anime series, or British comedy apropos of just about any situation, and one of my main goals in life is to entertain people. (The other big one is amassing as much anime and manga as I can... see below for a progress report.) That's me in a nutshell. ("Help! I'm trapped in a nutshell! What a bloody great nutshell this is!")
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