January 17th, 2007

Moa: The King of Destruction

General Education News

A man's cell phone apparently spontaneously ignites in his pants. They're usually pretty safe, but crazy things like this happen. I've heard of defective batteries exploding, but usually while charging, I think.

Criminal defense lawyer celebrates MLKJ Day with a naked teenage girl. He'll probably defend himself.

Two boys escape a juvenile detention facility and take a train for a joyride. It always makes me wonder why they bother with minimum security. It seems like a really stupid system waiting to be exploited.

Car thief asks for money at the home of the head of the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association. Maybe next time, he'll just ask for directions to a bank he can rob.

Thieves steal a Ronald McDonald statue. I give it a week before they contact the owner, begging to be allowed to return it.

Man robs store with pants down; surveillance footage entertains nation. Then he receives stolen goods while fighting the first set of charges. Not good for his case, there, although I think the judge was lenient given that he didn't moon anyone while in court.

His mother told him to get a job or leave the house, so he burned it down. He still doesn't have a job or a house, but he's got a nice prison cell to look forward to. His mother may not be so fortunate... who knows whether the insurance company will pay on her claim?

So desperate to steal that toy from Wal-Mart, they get off a chemical reaction that put four people in the hospital. I hope they ignore the warning labels and choke on the small removable parts.

Athens, Texas or New Haven, Connecticut... which is the true home of the hamburger? Silly people. Everyone knows the hamburger was invented by the Grimace, then stolen by the Hamburglar and served to unsuspecting people by that sneaky Burger King. Elmo tried to beat them to the punch, but got tickled until he had a seizure.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Today's Bridge: We were short one Steve, so naturally, I drew a king. But I convinced Thom, who's been watching with interest for some time now, to join us, and while the explanations went quickly and probably a bit over his head, he's got the basics and is learning some fundamentals, like "third hand high" only really makes sense if you can cover the highest card already in the trick. We only got to play two hands, and he didn't have material to bid in either. Tomorrow, I plan to introduce him to more of the intricacies of scoring, possibly even including doubles and vulnerability.

Today's Work: I signed up for the other DAWIA course I need for my level 1 certification, and it's already started. I may need to review some things from the first course before I get too far in this one, but I've got the basics of what I should need to know going in.

Today's Insurance: I got a note from State Farm informing me that they've paid the hospital bill as of the 10th. I didn't give the hospital the information they claimed they didn't have until the 15th. So, clearly, they asked for the information, then sent off the claim without it. I just don't care anymore. It's paid, so I'm satisfied.

Today's Destroy All Humans: I hate Majestic.