September 29th, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

The news is in the cards

It's an ages-old story. Kids break wife's glasses, husband tries to blow up their house. Well, it's probably been around in Indiana for decades now.

Dry cleaner finds a murder-suicide note in a coat pocket, but it turns out to have been a prop from a play.

Two men on a plane get into a fight over perfume and an iPod. And somehow, they weren't branded terrorists. Come on! Breathing on a plane anymore is an arrestable offense!

A woman right here in Bloomington is suing to find out the father of her baby alpaca.

A drug bust turns up meth inside a prosthetic leg. And yes, the owner was wearing it at the time. One wonders whether he might have cut the leg off himself to provide such a handy hiding place... and whether other drug lords might follow suit.

Sex store workers are handcuffed during a robbery. I'm tempted to ask whether they enjoyed it.

A Canadian prisoner near the end of his five-year sentence faces a new five-year sentence for injuring a cow with a broom. I doubt he'll get the full time, though, because it sounds like a last desperate effort to get the cow into a milking stall, it was one whack, and the cow has since recovered.

Pennsylvania sex bar loses water service. It's probably going to go bring-your-own-mug, shower before you arrive.

A man who molested and killed a girl in Indiana early last year has been tattooed with her name on his forehead. While in prison. And that makes three Indiana stories today. It IS Eerie, isn't it?
Moa: The King of Destruction

Semi-random thoughts for today

I think Pepsico's lost their contract here or something, because they haven't refilled either of the machines they have here in about a month. I'm waiting until the Gatorade machine finally becomes empty so we can get rid of it. Or at least unplug the damn things.

Also, it occurs to me that I've gotten so used to using my check card in most contexts that it feels weird to use cash for things like groceries and service on cars. I barely catch myself before asking "Do you accept cash?" I know a few places don't, but that's pretty rare.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Allow me to translate: All is right with the world, because I dumped Nidoking for my ex-boyfriend - again - a week and a half ago and decided the best way to tell him was to let everyone know how happy I am to be rid of him! This, to put it mildly, does not make me happy. I've known it was coming since before the potential for it to come was even there, but the delivery of the news itself puts anything Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal has ever done to shame. Ultimately, there's really only one thing to say. There's one person on my list who went ahead and did the "Nido has a girlfriend" chant prematurely... I hope you understand your mistake. I did try to warn you. The phrase "Nido has a girlfriend" has always been, and will always be, utterly meaningless, just as "I love you" is a threat as long as I'm the "you" and the "I" isn't my mom. Yet it seems that I can never eliminate my trust in women enough that someone else can't come along and destroy a bit more of it. The world can't have me, and it KNOWS it can't have me, but it's not going to take the lesson and leave well enough alone.

To be fair to her, she claims that her happiness comes entirely from a chocolate chip muffin with sugar on top. But I don't think she's going to eat her ex-boyfriend and sleep with the muffin.

Now, that said, I wish her well in her future romantic endeavors, because I do still care about her just as much as I ever did. I hope she keeps me informed of who she dumps him for this time, so I'll make sure my veiled grudge is always directed at the right person. And the line for women to jump on the fragments of my already shattered heart is forming once again... take a number and I'll see what I can arrange. It's going to have to be good, because I'm at about zero trust right now, and I don't think that's going to change any time soon.

Also, it appears that I won't be going anywhere on Monday, because nobody ever gave me the details for the trip. That's fine by me... I think my aura alone would classify me as a terrorist if I went anywhere near an airport right now. Actually, there's no bitterness anymore. As unfair as it is to post this entry, I think it's been established that it's tit for tat right now, and I don't get very much tit as it is, so I'm taking the opportunity. I also took the pre-emptive step of drinking the "Calm" variety of Airforce nutritional drink supplement this afternoon, just to make sure there was no undue stress. And there isn't. Things don't affect me the way they affect most people, and in this case, I'd call that a good thing. I'm just being a vindictive bastard for the hell of it this time. I wonder what it will feel like.

Oh, if anyone has anything really hurtful that they want to tell me, and can think of a way to package the delivery that maximizes the evilness, now would be a great time to hit me with it. I could use a basis for comparison.