August 10th, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

Journey to the News

Today's MDN: Women in Japan aren't sexless... they just turn their "sex switch off". The article blames men for most of the declining sexual activity because 10 percent of 40-year-old men are virgins as opposed to .6 percent of women. For one thing, those numbers have nothing to do with anything. For another, I doubt that more than 5% of 16-year-old Japanese girls are virgins. They may just not have sex any more when they grow up. Also, just because a man is a virgin doesn't mean he hasn't tried. It's just that women can be frigid closed-legged bitches... in a manner of speaking. Let me ask the authors of this article why they haven't interviewed the hordes of men who have turned off their sex switches. Why are women the ones who are declining? Yeah. I thought so. Strike one, AERA.

(P.S. That was a joke, mainly based on not only the protrayal of young girls as sexual objects, but the relative legality of sex with minors between Japan and the U.S., as well as the reality of some girls selling their bodies as early as 14, and the documented preference among at least some Japanese men for very young sexual partners. Clearly, more than 5% of Japanese girls are virgins... probably at least 7%. Because this joke was obviously too subtle for the average reader to understand, I've decided to explain it here. It may come as a surprise to you that the punchlines of some jokes do not accurately represent the facts. It may come as a further surprise to you that not everything I say in these news posts is true, particularly in the color commentary. I make no guarantee of truth and merely present links to existing news stories, then comment on them if it seems humorous enough to do so. I hope those of you who took my word as gospel haven't been prank calling the Rexburg police department. I don't think they'd enjoy that.)

Frenchmen jump in front of cars in Spain to film drivers' reactions. They must not have gotten many... I suspect that many of those reactions would be *VROOM!* *SPLAT!*

Brazilian is blown up while trying to open an RPG (and not the role-playing game kind) with a sledgehammer. Note that I didn't agree with Reuters' assessment of those Frenchmen being the dumbest people in the news today.

Guy bangs on glass to get people to join him in the pool, but it just severs a major artery and kills him. You know, those "don't tap on the glass" signs are there for a reason. This wasn't that reason, but you still shouldn't do it.

Guy robs 7-Eleven and runs out of gas during the getaway. The cops catch him with the money in his possession. The punchline? He pleads not guilty. There should really be a giant financial penalty and probably some additional sentences for people who plead not guilty in the face of such overwhelming evidence and force the case to trial. That goes doubly for Washington state, where judges seem to break all the rules. We've got one judge ordering the courtroom to cheer for the Seahawks - and repeating the order when they don't comply; another judge kicking a Muslim woman out of court because she won't remove her headdress (and he claims to allow people to wear head coverings for religious reasons... clearly, just HIS religion, but I think that's a universal government definition of religion); and a third judge tells jurors he's surprised at the verdict. The only reason he hadn't dismissed the case was that he expected an innocent verdict. Um... go Seahawks?

Malaysian after-hours bank robbers hit the check deposit machine instead of the cash dispensing machine. Maybe they just don't realize how valuable a haul they could have had... think of all that financial information - account numbers, names and addresses, not to mention the trouble they'd cause for the people who were expecting those deposits. And if you'd gone in during the day and deposited a blank piece of paper, claiming that it was a large check, who would know?

The mayor of Blackey, KY refuses to cut his lawn and even gave away his lawn mower. When the disease-causing agents move into the inviting tall grass, we'll say we told him so.

More on Korean dog eating. It seems that the meat is more popular in North Korea, and they've got better dishes. South Korean women are less likely to try it. And if you're ever in North Korea, and you see "sweet meat" on the menu... that's dog. Now the only question on my mind is "How many dogs could Takeru Kobayashi eat in an hour?"

Thieves, probably drunk, steal U-Hauls for a joyride. I understand that the keys are right there, but still... why joyride in a freaking U-HAUL?

Adults use kids to help steal jewelry. Is anyone still wondering why society is so screwed up?

A man tattoos his girlfriend while she sleeps. I think that if having matching tattoos is your only criterion for a romantic relationship, the bar is low enough that you can find someone willing to do it.

Airplane door falls on supermarket. At least it wasn't the frozen sewage.

85-year-old woman gets locked in vault of Swiss bank, but doesn't set off motion detectors for hours. The bank is looking into methods of nonfinancial compensation for her. I recommend getting her a pet sloth. Its movements will be more likely than hers to attract notice.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Today's Bridge: We lost. Valuable lessons for Keith, though.

Today's Work: Still haven't worked out those hash table problems completely, but I figured out the root cause. I just have to catch it happening and fix it as I go. Today was a bit hectic because our fileserver went down and took my productivity with it, and Keith needed one of the systems for a unit test, while I need both for my testing. Yay resources.

Today's Skies: I think I need to build Fina up a bit more before tackling Piastol for the first time. Not a problem, generally. I just need her to be able to survive an attack or two.

Today's Superhero: What's with these people thinking they're safe when they're not being followed by the camera? Haven't they gotten used to hidden cameras after the Rotiart thing? And when they're out on a mission and the camera stays behind... that's REALLY suspicious. Also, DUH the beam was on top of the building. Like they'd let their people get hurt for real? Oh, for that matter, DUH you choose to eliminate yourself. Double DUH.

Time for shower and more FMA. No, really. Also, iD_eNTITY fun, even though I forgot what book I was on, and Saiyuki still "Why did I never read this before"-worthy. I'm power-reading that too. Just got through book 5.

Oh, and a surprise today... the UPS guy came and dropped the box in the bushes. Suitably wrapped in plastic, of course, but I was home at the time and got no knock or doorbell. I heard the truck driving off and went down to get the package, so I had to put on my soaked shoes again to step out and bring it in. It had the Kodocha and Kaleido Star DVDs as promised, but the Getbackers DVDs were 9 and 10, not 8 and 10 as marked on the form. It's possible that they already caught the mistake and are sending 8 in the other package, but if not, I'll leave the second copy of 9 wrapped and call them to make a trade. No rush... I'm going to watch DVD 2 after I finish this DVD of FMA. Then OMG or Grenadier... probably not both before it's back to Tutu.