May 15th, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

News not about dead animals, because that's boring.

A prison escapee hides in a doghouse. It was probably a step up in his life.

New York City schools start enforcing the ban on cell phones. Part of me can see it, and part of me can't. They're handy in emergencies, but you can't tell me that there were no emergencies in the days before cell phones. Then again, I wouldn't drive around without a cell phone, and how safe are they when left in a car in NYC? Or in Mexico City, where banks are banning not only cell phones, but hats and sunglasses as well. All because that's what the bank robbers wear. Hey, all bank robbers eat bread, too!

A rich, eccentric guy hangs a Lamborghini on his wall. Finally, wall art that's actually art.

Idiot teens set fires and brag about it on MySpace. I think that says it all. It's a bad idea to brag about your crimes, especially when you're taking pictures of your pot and taking them to a pharmacy photo lab to be developed.

A police evidence technician hides over $31,000 in a desk that's then thrown away. They found the desk, but can't get to it through the garbage it's buried under.

A Thai dog groomer starts a web radio station for dogs. I guess it's like the cat DVD... it's more fun to watch the animals watching the video.

Someone tries to sell New Zealand on eBay. Can we sell Florida? I think the country's just wasting it as it is.

A perfectly healthy-limbed woman draws medical insurance claims and lawsuits using the ADA and fake wheelchair injuries. Naturally, she flees the police on foot. Maybe if she hadn't gotten greedy and claimed two breaks of her left arm, she'd still be getting away with it.

Thieves steal bathroom fixtures from Hawaiian parks. I guess when you've gotta go....

A marriage at the Jelly Belly store. That's actually handy. You can decorate the wedding cake with jellybeans, and if you get any black ones, you can trade them in for real ones without having to leave the store.
Moa: The King of Destruction

Note to self and anyone out there who really cares (read: not even me)

I need to come up with some male issue worth discussing in a males-only filter, just so I can justify the effort of making one and excluding all the women who have their Girls-Only filters in place. I don't really know why I feel compelled to do this, other than to show that we men, too, can care about things we don't want the opposite sex to hear us talking about. I have a few ideas, but it seems like it would be really weird to talk about them at all, even if I know there are no women reading it. I have a feeling that a males-only filtered thread would be mostly dead, while the women probably fill up their filtered threads with comments in a few days and have to spill over. Why is that? Come on, guys! Make a showing here! Don't leave me hanging!

Conversely, are there any topics that, if I were to talk about them, the women on my list would prefer not to read about? That's probably an even better way to go about it. How sad is it that, to come up with a topic that excludes women, I'm depending on the women for ideas? That's just pathetic. You know what? It's probably not worth it anyway. Now I know why there are no guys-only filters around... we're an open bunch. You all know how rarely I lock posts anyway, and if I really needed to talk about something like Collapse ) or Collapse ) or even Collapse ), I'll probably just put it in a cut marked something like "Why did I even write this entry in the first place? Nobody cares!"

So there. You guys suck by proxy, but I forgive each and every one of you for it.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Today's Bridge: I sat out, yet again, but we had seven people today. Kim just couldn't be bothered to be our eighth. Sad. Some interesting hands, but Kelly was a chicken on the first hand (her own words, not mine) and left a guaranteed slam contract in a mere game, then would not pass for anything after that. This includes a hand where she had a single point. I've come up with an analogy that I think describes what this is. Bidding at a high level is like hiding in a building while enemy soldiers search for people to kill, then standing up and shouting "Hey! I found a grenade! Do you think we could use this to beat the bad guys?" Now, this can work, assuming that you're wearing full body armor and the grenade is actually capable of beating the bad guys. If not, you're standing in the middle of an enemy army holding a single grenade that can't protect you, and your sergeant is glaring hot death at you. Further, if that sergeant asks you a question like "Soldier, we just need one more ammo clip and we can beat them. Do you have one?" the appropriate answer is not to stand there looking dumb until the enemies defeat you, especially since you have FIVE ammo clips.

I heard today that cable internet is back, and sure enough, it's up and running. So we went to Wall Market to buy me a wireless card, as well as a broom, mozzarella cheese, and traps to take care of our new ant problem. I never saw any before, but today, there were dozens of them crawling up the side of the oven. We set the traps, and that should take care of that. For now, anyway. I got the wireless card installed, but when I tried to start the computer with it, the configuration crashed on bootup. I pulled the card out and put it in once the computer was started, and it was fine. I really hope the configuration is stable now, because I really don't want to have to do that every time. We'll see tomorrow morning.

Interesting Presidential address. I agreed with everything I paid attention to. Now we'll show those illegal immigrants that being American isn't a dream, but a world of responsibility! Which, of course, brings me to a point mentioned earlier, in a way. Collapse )

I think I've offended enough people here tonight. I'll just slink off to bed now and hopefully check the flood of hate mail in the morning on my new cable internet connection.