April 17th, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

News of a refreshing nature

I'm told that this weekend marked a celebration of things happening in the East. Shame I missed that... I'll have to celebrate properly next year by re-reading The Westing Game.

This guy wants to buy a house with a paper clip. He's close. He's got a year of free rent in a duplex, and all the publicity he coudl possibly need.

An Ohio man abandons his burning house because there are marijuana plants in the basement. Finally, a criminal with some intelligence, including routing the electrical wiring around the meter so the electric company didn't notice the large amount of electricity he used. And, of course, now he's left with nothing. No doubt he'll start up again somewhere else, but he'll have to start with a red paper clip and barter his way back up to full criminal status.

An article about expensive booze. Yeah... I'm just going to pretend people have enough sanity to realize how much money they're paying for a tiny, tiny drink, and move on with my life minus any hint of $86,000 liquor.

All you Australians who like to point out that your country is better than ours have lost one point of bragging rights. Australian cheerleaders now have to cover their midriffs. And why is this? Because the sight of bare midriffs will make women want to go on diets. Got news for you, bigwigs. Women don't need to see cheerleader bellies to feel fat. "I weigh 59 pounds, but I think I can get down to 45" seems to be ingrained in the psyches of many women. And what women doesn't wish she could fit into the next size smaller of some article of clothing? (In the case of bras, it's often the next size bigger.) Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for the ban on "dirty dancing" to follow.

The creator of Max Headroom reveals that "Alien Autopsy" was a hoax. Well, duh. Now the producer's saying that there really WAS a Roswell video, but it was damaged and the special effects wizards were just trying to recreate it. Pathological much.

jesse_dylan might recognize this guy... The owner of Star City Lanes in Velva, ND, has put the alley itself up as the prize for a tournament. The downside is that he's chosen a "closest to your average" format, making it trivial for anyone to make himself/herself a ringer. Possibly. I have no idea how they plan to determine average scores before the tournament starts.

Bank robbers throw their money away and still get caught. Did they think that returning the money would make everything okay? Dane Cook says that if you pay for half of your purchases, then it's not stealing, but I don't think it really works that way.

A couple who were scamming restaurants by claiming to have found glass in their food had health insurance in false identities anyway. Do insurance carriers not check these things?

Those people on my friends list who are teachers in Arkansas or related to such may find themselves calling a foot fetish number if they try to name beneficiaries for life insurance. Actually, it wouldn't surprise me TOO much if someone on my friends list digs up that letter and dials the number just to see. ^_^

I think I mentioned a story some time ago about an elementary student who was arrested and handcuffed, then put in adult lockup until his parents could pick him up. The city has settled the lawsuit for $221,000. "Two point twenty-one hundred thousand dollars! Great Scott!"

Uzbek crooks try to sell a million dollar bill for half price. That comes out to about half a red paper clip. They'll have to trade up to a whole one in stages.

A Reno teen will be allowed to recite a poem containing the words "hell" and "damn" at a poetry recital contest. Hell yes, damn straight. And you can quote me on that... it's protected speech.

Speeding is bad, but unless you hit a speed trap or pass a cop, you probably won't get caught. However, if you're a habitual speeder, someone might tip the police off.

A former employee of Fifth Third Bank in Indiana made obscene phone calls to TV anchors using their personal bank information. Looks like he might have spent last weekend in jail, the lucky stiff.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Today's Bridge: I'm losing my touch. We had seven people today, including Kim, and I managed to draw an ace. Kim watched my hand through the game, and while I didn't have much to do that was impressive, I scored some notrump overtricks and talked Kim through some of the higher-level bidding. So I'll probably be out tomorrow, but today was a good day.

Today's Work: More of the usual, mostly. I spent most of the time working on track number conversions and learning about neat things that can be done with macros, like X-Macros. Then there was more review of the manual... it makes me want to bang my head on the desk repeatedly or strangle someone. Someone's already done his review and accidentally sent his comments (in our in-house "I can't believe this tech writer asked that question!" style, which we depend on a more diplomatic project member to revise constructively before sending it out) directly to the tech writer. It may be interesting to see what develops from that. I couldn't handle it today, so I left it for tomorrow.

No mortgage news yet, other than that I may have to take a detour to get to the bank to sign papers. I also think I've read the current book of GALS! before, but I'm going to re-read it because my memory is spotty, and I've put the third one at the bottom of my queue. It's likely that I'm just remembering scenes from the anime now that I'm reading them in the manga. Yet another series I need to watch more of if I ever take more anime-watching time for myself. We'll see how that goes.