March 17th, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

A Newfoundland officer invokes the Mental Health Act on someone for being a "newphie". The article corrects the spelling of "Newfie", but I don't know if they have room to talk when they also have "sentences" like this monstrosity: "'I think his mental health should be questioned,' Len Clarke of Fort McMurray, Clark moved to Alberta from Newfoundland in 1986."

Man is assessed a fine for throwing junk mail in the trash. Apparently, it's illegal to throw domestic garbage in a public trash receptacle in his part of the U.K.. I'm sure that's a giant problem. Fortunately for him, they later dropped the penalty. There's been a suggestion that trash cans (or "bins" as they're called over there) should sport signs ("placards") stating that throwing household trash ("rubbish") into them is illegal ("jolly well not right").

A woman takes the deer she hit to a vet for treatment. Wildlife officials remind readers that transporting wild animals without a permit is illegal... and that animals that haven't yet developed the "get out of the way of fast-moving vehicles" survival instinct are not fit to survive according to Natural Selection and should be Darwinized as appropriate.

Scientist learns to efficiently make shapes out of DNA... and turns his creative outlet to making Evil Otto clones. (That's smiley faces, for those who aren't caught up on Captain SNES.

A new internet Trojan holds files for ransom. Fortunately, the article describes how to find the unencryption codes without paying. Score one for the widespread availability of information.

Austrian police chase down an escaped kangaroo. Yes, that's Austrian, not Australian. If it were in Australia, that wouldn't be news. It would be Kangaroo Jack.

Two arsonists discuss their plans while the cell phone is on... and connected to 911. Stupidity has reached a new depth.

It's illegal to have marijuana in your house, but not to paint it on your house. At least, until the police discover that the paint is made from hemp. Then you're busted.

A town in Oregon wants to build the world's tallest glockenspiel. It's funny because the word glockenspiel is funny. But they really think it's going to be a tourist attraction. How could anything draw the tourists away from EugEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEne?

Speaking of Eugene, or eugenics, attractive, intelligent college women are being paid big bucks for egg cell donations. Donate some good, fertile eggs, and your value goes up.

Thieves in Prince George are caught on tape by the very security cameras they're intent on stealing. Word to the wise - security camera tapes aren't stored IN the cameras anymore. At least they didn't dial Canada's emergency number to discuss their plans with the police beforehand. It took about six hours to track them down.

Newfoundland girl dies from breast piercing. Word to the wise - if you must have holes poked through your body, and a strange condition develops, see a doctor for treatment. I still maintain that there are parts of the body that were never meant to have more holes in them than they already do, but that's just my opinion. Your mileage may vary. Clearly, Darwin is watching.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

I don't think I did anything today. I got a new Missile Expansion, but that probably doesn't count for anything, does it?

It looks like there's a possibility that I'll be pushing up the timetable for moving into the condo... circumstances have come up. Good circumstances, though. Just not something I can talk about. Nothing definite yet. More news if it develops.