March 6th, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

News-isms

I've been a bit more discerning in my choice of stories today, so you're only getting the best of what's out there.

Anyone remember the British guy who won the lottery and kept it secret from his wife so she wouldn't find out about his money? He couldn't keep it a secret from all the other women he's been seeing. And now he's got almost nothing left, and he's STILL looking. At least I hope he hasn't sent any to Nigeria or Amsterdam.

A maximum security prisoner is not allowed to buy magic books, because they think he might learn how to escape from prison. Well, of course he will. Everyone knows the secret... preparation. If he doesn't already know how he's going to get out, he's probably in there for the duration.

The Social Security Administration won't take this guy's word that he's not dead.

The doctor says this guy has been faking blindness since his bicycling accident. I can think of a few crude tests for that, but it must be tough to get into someone else's head.

A cosmonaut plans to hit a golf ball from the International Space Station. It's a pointless, stupid, and potentially dangerous stunt, but once it's determined exactly HOW pointless, stupid, and dangerous, it may very well happen. But in space, no one can hear you shout "Fore!"

A criminal justice professor resigns after showing his class a video of a man having sex with a pig. I'd make a South Park joke here, but I think it's made itself by now. So we have an uproar over pig castration, and now this... are we sure people aren't just pig-haters?

I think this is just a humor column. Money doesn't burn up in the microwave. But they didn't want to experiment with anything bigger than a 1, just in case. Maybe their theory that larger bills burn up while small ones don't is true... after all, it's only the larger bills that exist in the updated, more secure format. Maybe that's what happened to the lottery winner's money?

The Saudi ban on female drivers covers golf carts. And this is the first that I've heard that there's no actual law forbidding women from driving. They just can't get licenses.

That girl whose prosthetic legs were stolen got them back, covered in grafitti. I guess all's pretty well that ends pretty well.

The mayor of a town recognized for dedication to traffic safety got caught doing nearly double the speed limit. 103 in a 55. Even I never went THAT far over the spe- I mean, hi.

A driver caught riding with a dummy in the HOV lane will have to stand at roadside with a sign for four (nonconsecutive) hours. And the city gets a cut of any money he might make as a result of publicity. Well, I'm not paying for his story, anyway. Don't tell anyone.
Moa: The King of Destruction

Harry Potter Story Reductions, part 2

Rather than get involved with a video game at this point, and having brought up the first entry in this series in a conversation with bufi44 a short time ago, I figured I might as well write the story reduction of the second book in the series, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. As before, it'll be full of sarcasm, witty, humorous, and more accurate than most would care to admit.

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Feel free to comment, criticize, caterwaul, or even praise, should such an unforeseen thought occur to you.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Today's Bridge: I had work to do, so I missed the choosing of partners, and nobody reminded me. It looked like an interesting rubber, though. Steve and Dan ended so far in the hole that they needed a doubled slam or grand slam to win, and Dan bid the 7C. They had two diamond losers, but Kelly led a spade for a free finesse, and Steve sluffed a diamond on a long spade. Regrettably, that was all he could do, and he was still off one. But it was an amazing pair of hands.

Today's Work: Having put the post-delivery build problems behind us, we finally moved on to the remaining half-year's work, beginning with a change to our configure script. Once that gets approved, we'll create new engineering branches from it and start turning out PCR fix after PCR fix. We've got several that have been waiting for nothing more than this very turning point. Sporadic progress, while the bane of management everywhere, is the way I feel most comfortable working. I like being able to work at my own pace, without having to show outward progress in facts and figures, and then turning out everything that was expected, and generally more, in no more time than it was expected to take, and generally less time.

Today's Meru Puri: I'm finally getting around to reading this series that many shoujo fans have probably already latched onto... or maybe not. It's pretty weird so far, and it has much more comedy than I expected. The summary on the back doesn't even begin to cover the plot. There's a magical prince who's been cursed by his half-brother, but he escapes to our world through a mirror belonging to a girl who dreams of a perfect life with the perfect man, which will obviously never happen. She's got a crush on her senior in the student council, but the prince is turning her life upside down. Thanks to the curse, he gets older when it gets dark, and only Airi's kiss can return him to his normal age (eight or so, from the look of him) and restore his magic powers. His older self is creeping into her romantic fantasies little by little, and we all know where it's going....

Can't forget to mention that my paycheck stub FINALLY arrived today, as well as the second Anime Nation package, with the Evangelion Platinum boxed set that was the main reason I placed the order. Still no sign of the first package yet, or of Shoujo Beat, but when I called the magazine today, they told me to give it a few more days. Given the delay in the delivery of my paycheck (a week and a half late, to be exact), I can almost see it being on its way. I just really hope the package arrives before then, because while Anime Nation has been great about my orders so far, I don't want to have to call them again so soon. I know my mail hasn't been put on hold lately, so at least that's one variable we can eliminate. And my anime collection is almost at 700 DVDs. If the package arrives this week, that'll bring me to 699. And there's still the third Ah! My Goddess DVD yet to ship. Also, that total doesn't count the live action Sailor Moon DVDs. I suppose I probably shouldn't count the American version of Super Milk-Chan, but I'm counting the English dubs of Astro Boy and Pokémon.