February 21st, 2006

Moa: The King of Destruction

News and a commercial

Today's random bolt of lightning to the brain: In a commercial, we see a young man with curly brown hair standing in the middle of a street. He looks to his left and sees a Coca-Cola vending machine out front of an accordion store, and we hear an accordion riff in the background. Then he looks to the right, where he sees a Pepsi machine out front of a guitar store, and hears the same riff on a guitar. He looks down at the nickel in his hand, then goes to the Coke machine. The caption reads "Young Alfred Yankovic". Coke execs, feel free to use that one.

And now, back to the news.

A German man goes to police hoping to get a refund for his purchase of bad pot. Yes, the eighth most lucrative crop in Washington is at the center of international idiocy as well.

Army chaplains run a program teaching troops how not to marry a jerk. I've got my own system.

Woman finds blood in her McD's french fry bag. You'd probably think it was just really thin ketchup, but the restaurant has apparently admitted that it was in fact blood. This woman found a bird's head in her can of beans, which is also unsettling but might save her family from a life of heavy flatulence.

We hear often enough of people injured on amusement park rides, but this guy was injured while getting on one. He managed to fall in front of the next car.

Police think this guy bit off his girlfriend's nose and swallowed it. How sweet.

An Oregon family uses a potentially explosive shell as a lawn ornament. It's almost as dangerous as one of those pesky gnomes.

Amsterdam's Red Light District plans an open house. Wait... that was Friday. Anyone know how that went?

A thief steals what was probably an authentic Thomas Edison light bulb. Maybe he was part of the Antique Road Show (wasn't that the one that destroyed one of the original Edison phonograph cylinders?), or maybe he was just obsessed with light bulbs. After all, we've seen burglars obsessed with doorknobs. And thieves in Malaysia stole the aluminum liners from holes on a golf course. But nothing can top the burglary suspect who was in turn burglarized. The cops caught the second one because they went to pick up the first for questioning and found someone else in the home.

The psychic who finally admits to her fraud, and the cop who helped her hide it. Hard to tell which is the bigger scandal.

Oregon man gets a life sentence for a kiss-and-hickey strike. It's actually because it's a repeat offense under Oregon's three strikes law, but I'm giving you the headline. With any luck, he'll get the cell decorated with explosives. It's not as bad as the North Korean cheerleaders who are in prison for talking about what they saw in South Korea. Gimme a P! Gimme an O! Gimme a W!

Firemen brave nasty weather to rescue a balloon Valentine that got caught in a tree. Excellent use of department resources there. That kid's dead mother really appreciates it.
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Today's Bridge: I went into tilt, after missing a 4H contract that there may have been a chance of making. But in my defense, Kelly completely missed the intent of most of my bids... she bid after I made a pre-emptive overcall, and I decided not to pass even though I figured it was for the best, and in an auction where I opened spades, she responded hearts, and I bid clubs, while the opponents bid diamonds left and right, she bid a completely useless 4D, and while I wanted to end in 4H and make her play it, I wanted to see what her hand looked like, so I bid 4S. It was the worst choice, and I missed it again.

I got home a bit late, read Hunter x Hunter 7 cover to cover (the long-awaited match between Gon and Hisoka... can you blame me?), and made dinner, which took long enough that all I really felt like doing was looking for stuff in DQ8 for a few hours. I found some neat stuff, too, including a recipe that will require a very rare ingredient, but if I ever find one, it promises to be valuable; and the Flail of Fury, which is pretty weak but should also come in very handy. And one jerk told me about a recipe but won't even tell me what's in it enough for it to show up in my recipe list! The worst part of it is that I think it will require me to beat many, many Metal King Slimes. Commence derisive laughter now. Oh well. There's one person I definitely want to talk to, and I'll get to that tomorrow, most likely.

Otherwise, it was more Simpsons commentary (I'm up to season 6 now) and some of the Louie the Rune Soldier manga, which somehow manages to be funny in a completely different way from the anime. Simply put... he's punched Genie a few times already. The manga doesn't have as much silliness as the anime did (for one thing, the girls just approach him some time after their first fight and tell him that Mylee chose him, rather than the telegraphed yet still hilarious chase around the temple), but I'm sure I'll enjoy it just as much.

"A statue of Jessica. Not as squeezable as the real thing."