October 22nd, 2000

Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Ugh... my home life is a wreck. For those of you who don't know me yet... I lead a very depressing life. And I won't give details, because I don't want to involve my family in any of this, but imagine having to sit hundreds of miles away and hear a news report about a tornado running through your town, destroying everything. Now imagine that that news report is on the radio, is about your house, and you're hearing it from three disinterested reporters who can't seem to get their details straight or even agree with each other. That's about my situation for you... *sigh* Seems like I'm going to have a lot of (depressed) entries in my journal for a while, but believe me... when I'm REALLY depressed, you'll know!
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

I'd erase that last post if this wasn't a journal... I think that seeing my thought processes may help people understand me a bit better. Who knows? Some psychologist may read this and figure out a way to convince me that I need help! I'll probably send all of my entries in pairs... one to get out my emotions, and the next to explain what I meant by it all...
  • Current Mood
    calm calm
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

God... this home crisis is tearing me apart! It's like giving me a gun and forcing me to shoot either my mom or all of my brothers... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! The only thing I can think of is to use this journal as a catharsis... let out my feelings before they overwhelm me and see everything calmly. Perhaps my chronic depression won't be such a big problem now that I have a new, steady outlet for it. But expect to see a lot of angst, gentle reader... my life is like a depressing storybook waiting to be opened. Maybe someday I'll put the whole story here... but not just yet. For now, suffice it to say that I could have amounted to something and didn't, and now I rely on mildly successful fanfiction to relive the success that was stolen from me. It's just not the same...
  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

God... this home crisis is tearing me apart! It's like giving me a gun and forcing me to shoot either my mom or all of my brothers... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! The only thing I can think of is to use this journal as a catharsis... let out my feelings before they overwhelm me and see everything calmly. Perhaps my chronic depression won't be such a big problem now that I have a new, steady outlet for it. But expect to see a lot of angst, gentle reader... my life is like a depressing storybook waiting to be opened. Maybe someday I'll put the whole story here... but not just yet. For now, suffice it to say that I could have amounted to something and didn't, and now I rely on mildly successful fanfiction to relive the success that was stolen from me. It's just not the same...
  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

You know what? This whole "mood" thing doesn't work for me. I'm in most of those moods over the course of each entry! Even a dinky one like this one! (Anyone who has me on their "friends" list is probably going to be pretty pissed when all of these messages fill up their friends pages... but it feels good to finally be filling up that emptiness with my thoughts. I think I'll keep this up. Hopefully not to the exclusion of homework...
See there? My mood just changed again! How the heck am I supposed to keep up with that?
  • Current Mood
    good good
Moa: The King of Destruction

(no subject)

Great, now I think my brother's going suicidal over this thing... and I'm probably going to feel guilty over it if he DOES kill himself! What am I supposed to do? I'm still in college! I've got my own work to do! I've got a massive group project looming over me! I can't handle it all! *sigh* *calms down* I hope I'm not disturbing anybody... because I'm beginning to disturb myself.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed