Nidoking (nidoking) wrote,
Nidoking
nidoking

I'm probably going to hell for news

Or rather, I took a test to see which level of hell I'd be placed in according to Dante's Inferno. The results aren't particularly surprising, although as with most tests, the questions don't always necessarily apply to me, or don't have an option that captures the truth of my situation.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

A 125-year-old Brazilian woman may be the oldest living woman in the world. Guinness is working on confirming it. Not sure how they do that... possibly chop off an arm and count the rings.

A woman's orange tabby cat survives a ten-mile trip on the roof of her car. I think it's learned its lesson. Next time, it plans to suction-cup its feet to the window.

A substitute teacher is fired for showing her sex pictures to her students. The school district's spokesman said she didn't have enough sense to know what was right and wrong in a classroom. Um... that's not all the sense she's lacking. Another teacher does some nonsensical things, including kissing a bull, but in order to get his students to read. Just be glad HE'S not teaching sex ed... being duck taped to the wall would have a whole different connotation then!

A policeman goes back into the station and leaves his car running in the parking lot. A drunk woman steals the police car and drives it home. I'm almost surprised the cops are pursuing this... it's got to be embarrassing. Speaking of police embarrassments, remember that old Far Side cartoon where the fat guy is standing on a scale, and it gives him the message "One at a time, please"? Well, a Swedish police station is using that device on their security door. It's supposed to let people up to 350 pounds through, but it actually caps at 230. Now, what about a pair of 140-pound nobodies like me? Could we go in two at a time? The math says yes. Maybe the cops need to go on diets, because when the septic tank a woman's hiding in collapses under the officer's weight... well, that's not a pretty picture. Of course, they can eat whatever they want for that diet, as long as they exercise, because contrary to "Supersize Me", McDonald's food doesn't necessarily make you fat. That's the combination of eating too much of it and not exercising. Now, I just don't want to see this Les Sayer becoming McDonald's Jared Fogel.

A guy falls off a bridge and lives on the ledge below for two days before he's rescued. This is why they need those suicide rails.
Tags: memes
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