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Today's news

Two guys arrested for telling lawyer jokes outside a courtroom and "causing a disturbance". Some people just can't take a joke. That's probably why they went into law. *rimshot* Speaking of not being able to take a joke, mental health advocates are complaining about the Vermont Bear Company's "Crazy for You Bear", which comes with its own straitjacket and commitment papers. As I've said before, the only thing that offends me is that people who are offended by something go to such great lengths to have it removed from existence rather than just ignoring it and living in their own bubbles of perfume and happiness where their farts smell like roses and the toilets are just decorations, and everybody is exactly the same. But so as not to be a hypocrite, I won't try to stop them from doing it. So what if Prince Harry dresses up as a Nazi soldier for a costume party? It's an easily recognizable character and a perfectly valid costume! At least he didn't dress up as Sakura Kinomoto! (To randomly pick a name of no consequence whatsoever, of course.)

From the "When Animals Attempt Suicide" department: A snake manages to pull the heat lamp in its cage down onto the bedding, which caught fire and caused $12,000 in damages. And the snake died as well. A dog that leapt (or fell) from a fifth-story balcony was a little bit luckier that a painter who was stepping out for a break caught it. Ignore the Funniest Home Videos "punchline" at the end of the article... everyone says that about everything.

The oldest living EX-mountie (an important distinction, I'd say) just celebrated his 100th birthday. Says he, "It doesn't feel too much different than being 99." Amen, brother. Or should that be grandpa?

Drug dealers can occupy high and low places in society, and who has more access to drugs with little accountability than the guy who removes them from the homes of the dead? He uses samples of the drug to make sure that the deceased was taking the right dosage and didn't die of an overdose, but this deputy coroner decided to make a little more money after the fact. Granted, those are prescription drugs, but it's still illegal to sell them like that. On the possession end of the spectrum, we've got this Texas DA accused of meth possession. But he claims innocence, so I suppose we'll see. And the results will undoubtedly not be published so prominently, and if he's found innocent, probably not anywhere at all.

Affected T-Mobile customers already have been notified about the hacker who broke into their databases and got names, SSNs, and personal messages from some 400 people, including the Secret Service agent who was investigating him. Fortunately, it was only the agent's personal account that had no sensitive information in it. Seems to me like everyone did a good job of minimizing the impact of the hacker's actions, and people like him are a disease of society. I have no sympathy.

Interestingly, a court case seemed to hinge on the right to privacy in a public restroom. The cops eventually had to break in to find a man and a woman getting dressed and drugs on the trashcan. The question was whether they had the right to expect privacy that was violated by the police, but the verdict was that they were using the restroom for other than the intended purpose, far longer than was reasonable, and they didn't vacate when asked, so they gave up that expectation of privacy. But I don't think the Constitution was ever designed to protect people's rights to do illegal things anyway. Granted, maybe the cops do something illegal to catch the criminal in the act. But the criminal's just as red-handed, so that's no excuse to let them off the hook. I think we should just have a system of reparations where if the police do something illegal and the person is actually innocent (rather than let off on that technicality), the damages are repaid appropriately. Law enforcement is like parents... they can't DO anything anymore. They're just there to scare the people who are behaving.

A bank hires a recycling company to take away one of their ATMs. They assure the store clerk that it's empty, but it's not. The cash in that machine is said to have been enough to buy a house, take a vacation, and have plenty left over. The bank naturally sent a security guard to pick it up straight away, but for a while, that was a very rich recycling company. Too bad they couldn't just claim to have already recycled it, money and all... whoops, but have a thousand for your troubles and a fifty for the kidlings. We'll be relocating to the upper-class district and hiring pool boys.

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nidoking
Jan. 13th, 2005 05:11 pm (UTC)
Your Royal Highness Prince Henry,

We, the anime fans of America, were saddened to hear GREATLY saddened to hear that the English media made a royal farce out of your choice of costume at a recent party. We, too, are forced to deal with a free press who have nothing better to print than horrific stories that besmirch the good names of our elected officials such as President George W. Bush Vice President Dick Cheney all the fine men and women of the government well, names really aren't important, right? We hope that this incident hasn't harmed your reputation in the eyes of your people. To that end, we have pooled our intellects to come up with a brilliant new design should you choose to attend another costume party. Enclosed please find pictures of the design, created by some of Japan's most revered artists/storytellers known as CLAMP. This should spare you from future embarrassments Jolly good.

P.S. Please send a few snaps of yourself in the costume, as they will be worth GOOD MONEY great publicity to counter the Sun article.

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Yes, I'm THAT Nidoking. Sometimes I write fanfiction... often I waste all my time playing video games and watching anime. But it's not a waste if I enjoy it, right? I can quote from a movie, video game, anime series, or British comedy apropos of just about any situation, and one of my main goals in life is to entertain people. (The other big one is amassing as much anime and manga as I can... see below for a progress report.) That's me in a nutshell. ("Help! I'm trapped in a nutshell! What a bloody great nutshell this is!")

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