My tribulations from last night: I settled down with almost enough time to watch an episode of Evangelion, so I decided to go for it anyway. Everything worked fine until I got to the actual episode. As soon as I'd gone from the menu to the show, the sound cut out. The audio receiver lights were blinking as if it were getting no sound signal, and I worried that the DVD was defective. But I restarted it, and even the menu was silent. I tried reseating the coaxial cable in the receiver, but I really didn't want to have to dig out the DVD player and muck with its connection. So I decided to try turning the receiver off and then back on. Aha! It wasn't even responding to direct input, like pushing the power button. So I unplugged it and plugged it back in, turned it on, and the sound worked fine. What can cause a stereo receiver to lock up with the equivalent of the blue screen of death, I have no idea, but it happened. And by the time I'd fixed it, I didn't have time to watch the episode anymore.

Vermont man finds unwrapped condom in Burger King Southwestern Whopper. So THAT'S why it gives you a giant mustache! Anyway, someone obviously forgot to wrap the prize before embedding it in the burger.

Man uses fake Coca-Cola in his fountain dispensers. The list of crimes he's been charged with is mind-boggling. Just wait until they find the unwrapped condoms.

Burglar tunnels into semi-truck tire warehouse, but can't get the tires out through the tunnel. The security photo of him trying to push the tire into the hole will become a FAIL macro later this week. Ironically, we've finally found someone who's worse than the U.S. Military at planning an exit strategy.

New York City doorman suspended for bad breath. It seems that this is his third strike. Maybe he should invest in some mouthwash, or see a doctor about the death-breath. It could be a mold infection, or lupus.

Teens pee in Ryanair plane. But the article doesn't specify that they didn't do it in the lavatory... which would make the whole story pretty boring and pointless, but then, that's news for you.

Burglar leaves receipt in radiator shop. Want to know what the receipt, which led the cops to him, was for? Truck tires. I told you it was ironic.

The hidden toll of rising fuel prices: Chinese crematorium dumps half-burned bodies in a ditch. And I always thought cremation was the cheap alternative. I just didn't realize it was cheap in the quality sense.

While other countries layer on the child abuse laws, India passes parent abuse laws. Your parents took care of you when you were young, so now you have to take care of THEM when they're old. And Ishvara forbid you should have both parents AND children to raise!

Nun reads list of banned words in church. Exactly. You can't forbid something without explaining it. Still, that would be a sight - taken out of context, a video of a swearing nun would be hilarious and damaging.

Guiness record for distance thrown from being hit by a car. Oh, the episodes of Jackass that will be made from attempts to break this one....

New York City postman steals greeting cards for the cash inside. Also, he has bad breath.

Woman wills $21 million to the Chinese restaurant down the street. Her relatives are contesting the result and insisting that the restaurant owners stole their pants.

Gas sells for 33 cents per gallon for a few hours at this station. Word spreads quickly. Interestingly, if a city government ever needs to evacuate a city in a hurry, all they need to do is drop the price at a local gas station. "Hey, Joe, did you hear the Amoco's selling gas for less than a dollar per gallon? Also, there's a meteor coming and we all have to leave the city or we'll die." "No kidding! Less than a dollar? I've gotta tell my friends!"

Russian woman advertizes for green card marriage and gets it. Men like a woman who can be honest. Most women don't understand that, and the ones who do are international felons. Shame, really.